唉…… 父母……
过不了自己那关……
思绪乱七八糟的……
最近，日子过得超没趣。父母的问题，就不多提了。
一个没办法让你感觉像家的家，你会想回去么？所以，都会常常找朋友们出来。可搞笑的是，当我过得还不错时，身边就不缺朋友；当我需要朋友时，每个人都忽然变得特别忙。
发现身边的好友，其实没想像中的多…… 也许是想多了吧~ 自己把别人当成好友，别人倒觉得你是多余的。有事的时候就请你帮忙，开心的时候就会忽然的 ‘想不起你’，把自己最不开心时义不容辞地伴随左右的那个人忘了（没夸张，我对认定的好友就是这样的）…… 能共患难，却不能共享福的朋友，太多了。
秉持着将心比心的原则做人，却发现到付出的越多，就只会让别人觉得你除了利用价值外，什么都不是。越了解对方、越熟络，就越‘好意思’利用……
曾经的情人，已让我深深地失望。
现在的好友，却让我心寒。
也许那些‘普通朋友’，才算是朋友吧！
一直以来，自己奢望太多，付出的也越多，但结果总是让人失望的。
被视为最离不开的精神支柱的父母，已成了最大的烦恼；身边的好友们，也让自己失望…… 自己到底该何去何从？
看来，自己真的该好好学会如何‘做人’了…… 自私点、开心点就好，对吧？
-7.19pm-
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
_|_
现在的心情实在 ‘好极了’！
w89r89o2h3r920 4-`u23 q29r-0we 5i4u35 9043wtioewpt qwtuasejpowfj u34-5u 52ut53 tjrpfosdjpfoj pe-0urp-0ur943- u9543tplsedfjgut =05235i =3itpy jepo0rfgui -0sdgj-0tujr430tu [-0tu43 t-043tuheiow th9eo0rt-0 euwt-0eu3w 9t0 q3w940tjsd;fqe]3[port
43[t3wery4wy7yw5ryey7w87r8ty7e56y42wf5g423w41 356450 y455y390+5 y9+3570945y74057y 4897y7896 568696 ituKUGH&UIT^&*&)(*()&*()Y$#(* *($YR( HE()R $#()UR()$U*()%$Y *(TY() RRFG)RY*()%Y)*Y Y)%U()TY ()RTJKRIOH OG G RG
FUCK THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!
发泄完毕，日子照过，好得很！吊！
w89r89o2h3r920 4-`u23 q29r-0we 5i4u35 9043wtioewpt qwtuasejpowfj u34-5u 52ut53 tjrpfosdjpfoj pe-0urp-0ur943- u9543tplsedfjgut =05235i =3itpy jepo0rfgui -0sdgj-0tujr430tu [-0tu43 t-043tuheiow th9eo0rt-0 euwt-0eu3w 9t0 q3w940tjsd;fqe]3[port
43[t3wery4wy7yw5ryey7w87r8ty7e56y42wf5g423w41 356450 y455y390+5 y9+3570945y74057y 4897y7896 568696 ituKUGH&UIT^&*&)(*()&*()Y$#(* *($YR( HE()R $#()UR()$U*()%$Y *(TY() RRFG)RY*()%Y)*Y Y)%U()TY ()RTJKRIOH OG G RG
FUCK THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!
发泄完毕，日子照过，好得很！吊！
Thursday, November 25, 2010
For the Sake of Updating
Sometimes, you'll feel that life is a big joke.
That's what I'm feeling, right now.
If you've ever came to this point somewhere, somehow in your life, you'll understand what I meant without asking; if you have never experience it yet, well, soon you will.
Sometimes, there are some problems, some pain that we can't tell anybody apart from ourselves. We'll have to completely 'enjoy' those bitterness ourselves...
The reason that I'm writing this is because some one said that I neglected my blog(credit to Kelly the hot mama)... well, it's not that I intended to neglect it, but there aren't things that I especially wanted to write down... there is one though, but it is something that I can only face it myself and unable to share. Sorry if I'm being stingy.
Well... that's that. I'll just keep rotting since it's 3 months of holidays, at the same time enjoying that little 'bitterness' and that little 'satisfaction' that comes along with it...
Life, huh?
That's what I'm feeling, right now.
If you've ever came to this point somewhere, somehow in your life, you'll understand what I meant without asking; if you have never experience it yet, well, soon you will.
Sometimes, there are some problems, some pain that we can't tell anybody apart from ourselves. We'll have to completely 'enjoy' those bitterness ourselves...
The reason that I'm writing this is because some one said that I neglected my blog(credit to Kelly the hot mama)... well, it's not that I intended to neglect it, but there aren't things that I especially wanted to write down... there is one though, but it is something that I can only face it myself and unable to share. Sorry if I'm being stingy.
Well... that's that. I'll just keep rotting since it's 3 months of holidays, at the same time enjoying that little 'bitterness' and that little 'satisfaction' that comes along with it...
Life, huh?
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Funniest Night Ever!
OK, I really don't wanna post something like this after so long since I last blogged but.... THIS ISH JUST TOO FARRRNNEEEEYYYY!!!! xD
The story begins about 12am(or so), I was kinda like sigh-ing about some nonsense, and was reading novel online at the same time, as usual. Then, just when I was thinking: "K, I'm gonna sleep earlier today, this is the last chapter!" Few minutes later, *BLACKOUT* LOL!!
At 1st I thought it's only my house, but after I checked the electricity box or whatever you call it, there's nothing wrong with it! I actually woke my mum up for that and when I look out-- OMAIGUT!! The whole taman farking blackout! -_________-
Well, I can't do anything about it and thought that I'll just sleep regardless of the rising temperature of my room(since the air-cond was on before that and it was still cold), but it's getting warmer and warmer 'til I got so damn 'spirited' and started to think about some nonsense-- I CAN'T SLEEP! basically -_-
After an hour or so, my phone suddenly rings. I don't usually receive call on that phone since I never give out that number, plus there aren't many people who will call me these days, so I was a little bit surprised. When I grab my phone and saw the person who's calling me, I got even more surprised-- it's Ivan Siah, the turtle. I was thinking why the heck he called me so late, and found out that his area also got blackout, lol. So, both of us decided to go out as neither of us can sleep in that condition.
The turtle asked me to pick him up and I agreed on that. However, when I was going out, I was like: "Wait a minute-- HOW DA HELL AM I S'POSE TO GET OUT THROUGH MY HOUSE'S AUTO ELECTRIC GATE (I don't have the key of the small manual gate)?!" -____________________-
At the end, I came out with the most traditional & BRILLIANT idea-- I climbed out, like a thief, hell yeah -_-
I thought that will be the best part for the night already, who knows............!
After I pick the turtle up, we planned to go to the McD nearby our housing area, but it was totally full(kinda expected, since there're people who can't stand the blackout like us) so we decided to switch our destination to the Connaught's McD. However, just when I drove out of the McD area, the turtle suddenly shouted: "OOOOEEEEIIIIII???!!!"-- on our right is our housing area, and the LIGHTS ARE ON!!! Which means, the electricity is BACK!!! -____________________________________-
That wasn't even more than 15minutes since I left my house!!!!
Then I was like: "OK, let's go home~~~", HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! The turtle was cursing all the way, and then even curse in Facebook with his awesome 'combo', which had never been heard for many years, good grief! xD
And yeah, here I am, gettin' all 'spirited', blogging such nonsense stuffs xD
My my... I think this is how life is eh? Sometimes when we can't stand certain hardships in life, we tends to give up and move to another path, just like how I can't stand the heat and went out with the turtle. However, god knows the goal is so damn near?! If only both of us have waited for another 15-20mins or so, we wouldn't have to go out for nuts! HAHA!!!
Oh well, guess I'll just take it as a lesson of the day! xD
セラヴィ . C'est la Vie! xD
-2.24am-
The story begins about 12am(or so), I was kinda like sigh-ing about some nonsense, and was reading novel online at the same time, as usual. Then, just when I was thinking: "K, I'm gonna sleep earlier today, this is the last chapter!" Few minutes later, *BLACKOUT* LOL!!
At 1st I thought it's only my house, but after I checked the electricity box or whatever you call it, there's nothing wrong with it! I actually woke my mum up for that and when I look out-- OMAIGUT!! The whole taman farking blackout! -_________-
Well, I can't do anything about it and thought that I'll just sleep regardless of the rising temperature of my room(since the air-cond was on before that and it was still cold), but it's getting warmer and warmer 'til I got so damn 'spirited' and started to think about some nonsense-- I CAN'T SLEEP! basically -_-
After an hour or so, my phone suddenly rings. I don't usually receive call on that phone since I never give out that number, plus there aren't many people who will call me these days, so I was a little bit surprised. When I grab my phone and saw the person who's calling me, I got even more surprised-- it's Ivan Siah, the turtle. I was thinking why the heck he called me so late, and found out that his area also got blackout, lol. So, both of us decided to go out as neither of us can sleep in that condition.
The turtle asked me to pick him up and I agreed on that. However, when I was going out, I was like: "Wait a minute-- HOW DA HELL AM I S'POSE TO GET OUT THROUGH MY HOUSE'S AUTO ELECTRIC GATE (I don't have the key of the small manual gate)?!" -____________________-
At the end, I came out with the most traditional & BRILLIANT idea-- I climbed out, like a thief, hell yeah -_-
I thought that will be the best part for the night already, who knows............!
After I pick the turtle up, we planned to go to the McD nearby our housing area, but it was totally full(kinda expected, since there're people who can't stand the blackout like us) so we decided to switch our destination to the Connaught's McD. However, just when I drove out of the McD area, the turtle suddenly shouted: "OOOOEEEEIIIIII???!!!"-- on our right is our housing area, and the LIGHTS ARE ON!!! Which means, the electricity is BACK!!! -____________________________________-
That wasn't even more than 15minutes since I left my house!!!!
Then I was like: "OK, let's go home~~~", HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! The turtle was cursing all the way, and then even curse in Facebook with his awesome 'combo', which had never been heard for many years, good grief! xD
And yeah, here I am, gettin' all 'spirited', blogging such nonsense stuffs xD
My my... I think this is how life is eh? Sometimes when we can't stand certain hardships in life, we tends to give up and move to another path, just like how I can't stand the heat and went out with the turtle. However, god knows the goal is so damn near?! If only both of us have waited for another 15-20mins or so, we wouldn't have to go out for nuts! HAHA!!!
Oh well, guess I'll just take it as a lesson of the day! xD
セラヴィ . C'est la Vie! xD
-2.24am-
Monday, October 18, 2010
致谢
“身边的朋友～甚至家人可以给你劝的都劝过了。。。
叫你清醒过来又不是～因为你说自己很清醒=.=
反正。。。这条路你不选都选了～振作点吧！！
路还很长。。。你能逃避一时，不能逃避一世。。。
试想想，你现在多幸福～有这种机会。。。学习各种的东西。。。
有的人根本没这种机会。。。
所以～学会去珍惜吧。。。
学习当中，压力是难免会有的。。可是你说你最大的压力竟然是没有压力（！！！）zadao~无言。。。
现在的你。。最大的重任是把这条路好好的走下去。。。
做好自己当下该做的事，这也是最基本的事。。。
希望你自己能靠自己从中爬起来吧～
当然我也会为你加油的＝）
如果真的累了烦了。。就让自己休息休息～
途中休息只为了跑更长远的路嘛～XD
可是千万不要逃避～～～
切记。。。。我们都是人。。。更何况我们都是学生。。。
大家都在学习中。。。能读多少，能进多少不重要。。
最重要的是尽力了～尽力了就不后悔。。。。更不会觉得惭愧～”
这是一位我最重视的人告诉我的，真的非常非常感激她的这份心意~虽然，当我看见的时候已经从死气沉沉的状态中恢复过来了=P
无论如何，这份心意、这份关怀，我会永远放在心上，记在心里。不管以后会怎样，我知道身边永远有着这么一位朋友在支持着我…… 这么多年来，辛苦了你咯~ 垃圾桶不好当吧？ ^^"
答应过的承诺有许多，放飞机的却也不少…… 所以，这次我不打算对你做出任何承诺--因为，行动才是最好的承诺。接下来的路，请你继续提点我，提点我的愚昧；请你原谅我，原谅我的自大；请你提醒我，提醒我犯的错；请你看着我，看着我的成长。
知道你看了在偷笑啦~ xD
最后，只想打从心底对你说声：“ 谢谢，有你真好！” =D
-10.10pm (11.10pm)-
叫你清醒过来又不是～因为你说自己很清醒=.=
反正。。。这条路你不选都选了～振作点吧！！
路还很长。。。你能逃避一时，不能逃避一世。。。
试想想，你现在多幸福～有这种机会。。。学习各种的东西。。。
有的人根本没这种机会。。。
所以～学会去珍惜吧。。。
学习当中，压力是难免会有的。。可是你说你最大的压力竟然是没有压力（！！！）zadao~无言。。。
现在的你。。最大的重任是把这条路好好的走下去。。。
做好自己当下该做的事，这也是最基本的事。。。
希望你自己能靠自己从中爬起来吧～
当然我也会为你加油的＝）
如果真的累了烦了。。就让自己休息休息～
途中休息只为了跑更长远的路嘛～XD
可是千万不要逃避～～～
切记。。。。我们都是人。。。更何况我们都是学生。。。
大家都在学习中。。。能读多少，能进多少不重要。。
最重要的是尽力了～尽力了就不后悔。。。。更不会觉得惭愧～”
这是一位我最重视的人告诉我的，真的非常非常感激她的这份心意~虽然，当我看见的时候已经从死气沉沉的状态中恢复过来了=P
无论如何，这份心意、这份关怀，我会永远放在心上，记在心里。不管以后会怎样，我知道身边永远有着这么一位朋友在支持着我…… 这么多年来，辛苦了你咯~ 垃圾桶不好当吧？ ^^"
答应过的承诺有许多，放飞机的却也不少…… 所以，这次我不打算对你做出任何承诺--因为，行动才是最好的承诺。接下来的路，请你继续提点我，提点我的愚昧；请你原谅我，原谅我的自大；请你提醒我，提醒我犯的错；请你看着我，看着我的成长。
知道你看了在偷笑啦~ xD
最后，只想打从心底对你说声：“ 谢谢，有你真好！” =D
-10.10pm (11.10pm)-
Monday, September 13, 2010
Give Up?
Can I just say that 'I give up' now?
I've had enough with my stupidity, my own lack of knowledge AND the motivation to persuade it.
What kind of idiot am I huh?!
Seriously... I'm not doing well in my study, especially in Finance and Business Law; I'm singing nuts recently for my competition coming in 2 weeks; I've been missing my LCCI classes for weeks; I'm always lazy to attend any event of my working cycle to socialize; I can't even think positively but keep complaining when I'm under PRESSURE/STRESS; I'm FARKING USELESS!!!
Can I just say that 'I give up' now?
Can I just give up in my singing? Can I just give up in my study? Can I just run away from my work? Can I stop my LCCI lesson? Can I just DIE?! FULL WITH REGRETS?!
Hell yeah, I'm contradicting myself! I know that I can't give up any of these... and I shouldn't. Why am I such a bastard that will not have the urge to persuade knowledge?? How come others can but I can't? If it's all up to me to decide, THEN WHY AM I ALWAYS MAKING THE NEGATIVE DECISIONS?!
I know that it's pointless to say all these, I know that it's impossible for me to just stop and rot then die, I know that life goes on, I know that there's nowhere to run, but still...
Can I just 'give up'?
-1.47am-
I've had enough with my stupidity, my own lack of knowledge AND the motivation to persuade it.
What kind of idiot am I huh?!
Seriously... I'm not doing well in my study, especially in Finance and Business Law; I'm singing nuts recently for my competition coming in 2 weeks; I've been missing my LCCI classes for weeks; I'm always lazy to attend any event of my working cycle to socialize; I can't even think positively but keep complaining when I'm under PRESSURE/STRESS; I'm FARKING USELESS!!!
Can I just say that 'I give up' now?
Can I just give up in my singing? Can I just give up in my study? Can I just run away from my work? Can I stop my LCCI lesson? Can I just DIE?! FULL WITH REGRETS?!
Hell yeah, I'm contradicting myself! I know that I can't give up any of these... and I shouldn't. Why am I such a bastard that will not have the urge to persuade knowledge?? How come others can but I can't? If it's all up to me to decide, THEN WHY AM I ALWAYS MAKING THE NEGATIVE DECISIONS?!
I know that it's pointless to say all these, I know that it's impossible for me to just stop and rot then die, I know that life goes on, I know that there's nowhere to run, but still...
Can I just 'give up'?
-1.47am-
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Such 'Wonderful' Person in Life
Sometimes... some people just let me feel so.... fake.
I really hate the kinda person who hide things from me. What's wrong with telling me the truth? What passed is past, there is no need to hide, no need to hold back.
What's the deal with keep addressing me as 'brother' while trying to hide things from me and making me looks like a fool?!
It hurts... so much. Even though I'd once told myself to forget about what happened between the 3 of us, but what you're doing now is making it worse, to a certain extend where I feel like giving you a straight punch when you talk to me.
I knew that I should never take anybody as important anymore but... yea, I'm still dumb enough to take you as a brother, keep supporting you whenever you're down...I've never felt such intense anger and mood of crying for quite some times already, thanks for giving me that.
This heartache is far exceeded how it felt back then.
I guess I should just give up. I don't need/want such a friend, such a 'brother'. Thanks for all the helps you've given me thus far, truly appreciate that, including today's. But I really can't take it anymore.
You'll be the 1 person whom I can never forgive for my entire life time.
I'll still wish you a good life, for the last time.
and allow me to honestly curse you for once: FUCK YOU BASTARD!
sorry about that, but I mean it.
-12.23am-
I really hate the kinda person who hide things from me. What's wrong with telling me the truth? What passed is past, there is no need to hide, no need to hold back.
What's the deal with keep addressing me as 'brother' while trying to hide things from me and making me looks like a fool?!
It hurts... so much. Even though I'd once told myself to forget about what happened between the 3 of us, but what you're doing now is making it worse, to a certain extend where I feel like giving you a straight punch when you talk to me.
I knew that I should never take anybody as important anymore but... yea, I'm still dumb enough to take you as a brother, keep supporting you whenever you're down...I've never felt such intense anger and mood of crying for quite some times already, thanks for giving me that.
This heartache is far exceeded how it felt back then.
I guess I should just give up. I don't need/want such a friend, such a 'brother'. Thanks for all the helps you've given me thus far, truly appreciate that, including today's. But I really can't take it anymore.
You'll be the 1 person whom I can never forgive for my entire life time.
I'll still wish you a good life, for the last time.
and allow me to honestly curse you for once: FUCK YOU BASTARD!
sorry about that, but I mean it.
-12.23am-
Monday, August 30, 2010
Senseless Post
It's 1 of the worst day ever.
I've got no goddamn idea why am I so EMO/PISSED/MOODY for the whole day(yes, that's how I felt even though I might not have show it). Maybe because I've got not enough sleeps?
After the Kluang(Johor) performance yesterday, reach home about 1.40am, then slept around 3.30am, woke up around 4.45am.
Drove to KLIA to sent my lovely friend away (might be another reason why am I so EMO, LOL), drove all the way back ALONE for the 1st time. but of, I get to try and drive up to 190km/hr for like, 10sec? I was worrying that the petrol will die out on me anytime, but luckily it doesn't.
Back at home, face comp, slept for while, lunch, go to Uni.
back from Uni, go straight to UCSI for practice... after that went to makan with Johan and gang. Yeap, they're fun, they're adorable :)
Thanks to them I feel so friggin much better than I was before.
That babi Yuki is still so BABI! Won't pick up my call when I need someone to talk to (hope she won't see this). xD
Ah well, that ends my day.
26mins to go 'til 'Merdeka'. A friend asked me on fb just now, "How you gonna celebrate Merdeka?".
Well, good question. I would like to know the answer if anyone can provide me one.
24mins 'til 'Merdeka'...
That's it.
p/s:
I'm glad that Esien made it to Japan safely :)
I haven't done my accounting assignment that's due on Weds.
Have to rush up all the duet/quartet pieces before Saturday...
I think I've only slept for less than 3hrs (included lectures) today?
-11.36pm-
I've got no goddamn idea why am I so EMO/PISSED/MOODY for the whole day(yes, that's how I felt even though I might not have show it). Maybe because I've got not enough sleeps?
After the Kluang(Johor) performance yesterday, reach home about 1.40am, then slept around 3.30am, woke up around 4.45am.
Drove to KLIA to sent my lovely friend away (might be another reason why am I so EMO, LOL), drove all the way back ALONE for the 1st time. but of, I get to try and drive up to 190km/hr for like, 10sec? I was worrying that the petrol will die out on me anytime, but luckily it doesn't.
Back at home, face comp, slept for while, lunch, go to Uni.
back from Uni, go straight to UCSI for practice... after that went to makan with Johan and gang. Yeap, they're fun, they're adorable :)
Thanks to them I feel so friggin much better than I was before.
That babi Yuki is still so BABI! Won't pick up my call when I need someone to talk to (hope she won't see this). xD
Ah well, that ends my day.
26mins to go 'til 'Merdeka'. A friend asked me on fb just now, "How you gonna celebrate Merdeka?".
Well, good question. I would like to know the answer if anyone can provide me one.
24mins 'til 'Merdeka'...
That's it.
p/s:
I'm glad that Esien made it to Japan safely :)
I haven't done my accounting assignment that's due on Weds.
Have to rush up all the duet/quartet pieces before Saturday...
I think I've only slept for less than 3hrs (included lectures) today?
-11.36pm-
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
If U're in a relationship, married or none, read this. U'll know why at the end.
I don't know whether this or the Chinese version is the original, but it is truly worth a few seconds to share it and 5 minutes in your life to read it-- it might just save you from 'regret' before it's too late.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
By Stephanie Halmilton
-3.15am-
Monday, August 2, 2010
爱上两个人的感觉……？
在 Facebook 里看见了一篇文章，标题是： 《爱上两个人的感觉》。
读完后，就觉得…… 不是吧？！这样的文章只会让夹在两个人中间的那个人更痛苦，更不知所措！
这样的情况/感觉，多数只会出现在女人身上吧？因为，只有多数的男生才会毫不犹豫地追求自己喜欢的女生，即使她
或许有点文不对题，但在你（不论男女）有着这一份感觉时
个人觉得，没有一段真爱是无须经过考验的。如果现在觉得
许多人看到这里都会觉得“你说得容易！大家在一起那么久
觉得自私吗？那先问问自己吧！有那段感情不是 ‘自私’ 的？有人会说，“我对他的爱是无私的、不求回报的！”。
自己的幸福永远都是最重要的。在感情里，‘自私’无罪！
愿天下有情人终成眷属~
读完后，就觉得…… 不是吧？！这样的文章只会让夹在两个人中间的那个人更痛苦，更不知所措！
这样的情况/感觉，多数只会出现在女人身上吧？因为，只有多数的男生才会毫不犹豫地追求自己喜欢的女生，即使她
或许有点文不对题，但在你（不论男女）有着这一份感觉时
个人觉得，没有一段真爱是无须经过考验的。如果现在觉得
许多人看到这里都会觉得“你说得容易！大家在一起那么久
觉得自私吗？那先问问自己吧！有那段感情不是 ‘自私’ 的？有人会说，“我对他的爱是无私的、不求回报的！”。
自己的幸福永远都是最重要的。在感情里，‘自私’无罪！
愿天下有情人终成眷属~
等等，好像忘了什么………………………………………………………………………………
糟糕！功课还没做完哪~~~ >____<"
-2.00am-
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
寂寞
觉得寂寞时，你会想起谁？
当你看见这问题时，你是否想起了谁呢？
如果，有一个人、一张脸、甚至一个名字或更多浮现在你脑海，那么恭喜，你并不寂寞。
如果，你想起的只有过去，还是过去…… 那请看一看自己身边，是否错过了什么。
如果， 你跟我一样，什么都不想想起，只觉得心里有个填不满，或根本不知该用什么来填满的空洞……那我只能对你说一句 “朋友，看开点吧！”。因为，我也只能对自己说同一番话啊……
寂寞的人，渴望着相聚，却又害怕相聚后的别离。 所以，寂寞的人通常都‘喜欢’独来独往……
寂寞的人，喜欢与文字为伍，因为寂寞的时候，陪伴着他们的除了文字还是文字……
寂寞的人，都喜欢听悲伤的音乐，不断地听，因为音乐中的旋律，就是他们感情的诠释……
寂寞的人，唱着寂寞的歌，写着寂寞的故事，不是因为他们喜欢寂寞，而是他们早已习惯了寂寞……
-12.50am-
当你看见这问题时，你是否想起了谁呢？
如果，有一个人、一张脸、甚至一个名字或更多浮现在你脑海，那么恭喜，你并不寂寞。
如果，你想起的只有过去，还是过去…… 那请看一看自己身边，是否错过了什么。
如果， 你跟我一样，什么都不想想起，只觉得心里有个填不满，或根本不知该用什么来填满的空洞……那我只能对你说一句 “朋友，看开点吧！”。因为，我也只能对自己说同一番话啊……
寂寞的人，渴望着相聚，却又害怕相聚后的别离。 所以，寂寞的人通常都‘喜欢’独来独往……
寂寞的人，喜欢与文字为伍，因为寂寞的时候，陪伴着他们的除了文字还是文字……
寂寞的人，都喜欢听悲伤的音乐，不断地听，因为音乐中的旋律，就是他们感情的诠释……
寂寞的人，唱着寂寞的歌，写着寂寞的故事，不是因为他们喜欢寂寞，而是他们早已习惯了寂寞……
-12.50am-
Friday, July 9, 2010
Genting Trip
Alrite, it's time to update a little! I've been lazy for quite some time, seriously.
5 days plan last week, mega-awesomely tiring but fun! The plans are:
2/7/2010 (Fri) - The gang came over to Cheras, my house basically. Fetch them to Sg. Wang to meet up with Kim, then drove over to Pavilion for Pepper Lunch! :D
It's damn good no matter how many times I take it! After that, spend some time at my house, Twister Frenzy, PS-2... took a lot of RETARDED photos, still waiting for those who have it to post it up. After that, went to Temptation for dinner! xD
3/7/2010 (Sat) - Went over to Chloe's house to stay over for a day, since we're departing from 1-U's bus station. I had fever dammit, out of a sudden -_-
So they kinda waste their time getting me some rest. After that, went to 1-U for dinner, shop for snacks, and get myself some medicine. Neurofen is damn friggin' effective, no joke! After I took it I feel so much better after an hr or two. I only took 2 of it and I'm all good the next day! :D
Anyways, we went to New York-Deli for Dinner(we went there last time when I was having fever too, lol) and bought hellotta snacks & some nice vodka from Cold Storage for genting :D
At night, spend some time for the King's Game.
JJ & me had a lot of 'fun' sleeping, thanks to the aquarium -_-
4/7/2010 (Sun) - Depart from Bus Station near 1-U, I got a solo seat(they ditched me T_T ), and ended sitting with a granny. The worst part is, when we were on the way, 2 aunties/grannies sitting in front and behind of me, keep pulling the farking curtain while leaving me vulnerable to the damn Solar power. I got grilled medium well, FARK!
After we check in & leave our stuffs near counter(since our room is not ready yet), we walked around First World and decided to go for archery then the haunted house. Archery is fun! Steph noob, HAHA! Haunted House wasn't all that scary, but Chloe grabbed my back friggin' tight all the way -_-
Then, we go for our Buffet lunch at Coffee Terrace which is included in the bus ticket package Lenne bought. It took us friggin' more than 30mins to look for it thanks to all those stupid directions given. We have to walk all the way from First World to Genting Hotel,dang it. The Buffet is fine, nothing special though.
After our lunch. we went all the back to First World for "Ripley's Believe It or Not" stadium. A lot of interesting stuffs to see, so much that we were almost late for our room.
Next, PS-2 section and bathing. It took around 2hrs for every1 to bath! Next time we have to get 2 rooms or else bathing will consume most of our time. Went to some Hot Pot for dinner, it was torturing thanks to the oil... lazy for details, for those who went, yea, no more Hot Pot at Genting -_-
PS-2 section resume, then girls went to bed. The guys, Lenne, Me & JJ, spend whole night chatting nonsense and slept around 5-6am. It's fun to have guy's talk once in a while though.
5/7/2010 (Mon) - Basically spend whole day for rides. I'm getting lazy so gonna skip all the details, lol. They ditched me again, got stuck with the love birds :(
Lunch @ KFC/Burger King. Dinner? the snacks we bought lolz. We played Twister, King's Game, murderer, etc. Those snacks served its purpose very well. Sleep after that.
6/7/2010 (Tues) - Basically, pack & ciao. Went for lunch, the friggin' economic rice I took cost me rm23, like, WTF?! But yeah, its Genting after all. We also went for arcade before we move to bus station, I never play much, but it's fun watching them play, haha. And guess what? they ditched me AGAIN for the bus, so yea, I got seated with an uncle, not as bad as last time though. I hold my curtain this time so that I won't get grill again, LOL
Then, mum picked me, Steph & Kim up at Chloe's house and yea, that's all for the trips! :D
Gosh, it's really a pain in da ass to update so many things at once! but I don't wanna forget any of it, so just gotta spend some time to write them down ~_~
Lastly, I'VE GOT MY PS-3 TWO DAYS(which is a day after Genting) AGO!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! It's FRIGGIN' COOL! The remote joy-stick pawns it all! I bought Star Ocean The Last Hope, it's quite awesome, not as much as I expected though, but still, GREAT!!! XD
Imma looking for Tales of Vesperia and cheap FF13 now, hope that I can get it asap~ ><"
Btw, GUNDAM-00 IS COOL! and 16th of July is my execution day- result coming out -_-
Ok, done with random + quick update, and now....
Omg I'm HUNGRY, food~~~~~~~~~>"<
-2.59pm-
5 days plan last week, mega-awesomely tiring but fun! The plans are:
2/7/2010 (Fri) - The gang came over to Cheras, my house basically. Fetch them to Sg. Wang to meet up with Kim, then drove over to Pavilion for Pepper Lunch! :D
It's damn good no matter how many times I take it! After that, spend some time at my house, Twister Frenzy, PS-2... took a lot of RETARDED photos, still waiting for those who have it to post it up. After that, went to Temptation for dinner! xD
3/7/2010 (Sat) - Went over to Chloe's house to stay over for a day, since we're departing from 1-U's bus station. I had fever dammit, out of a sudden -_-
So they kinda waste their time getting me some rest. After that, went to 1-U for dinner, shop for snacks, and get myself some medicine. Neurofen is damn friggin' effective, no joke! After I took it I feel so much better after an hr or two. I only took 2 of it and I'm all good the next day! :D
Anyways, we went to New York-Deli for Dinner(we went there last time when I was having fever too, lol) and bought hellotta snacks & some nice vodka from Cold Storage for genting :D
At night, spend some time for the King's Game.
JJ & me had a lot of 'fun' sleeping, thanks to the aquarium -_-
4/7/2010 (Sun) - Depart from Bus Station near 1-U, I got a solo seat(they ditched me T_T ), and ended sitting with a granny. The worst part is, when we were on the way, 2 aunties/grannies sitting in front and behind of me, keep pulling the farking curtain while leaving me vulnerable to the damn Solar power. I got grilled medium well, FARK!
After we check in & leave our stuffs near counter(since our room is not ready yet), we walked around First World and decided to go for archery then the haunted house. Archery is fun! Steph noob, HAHA! Haunted House wasn't all that scary, but Chloe grabbed my back friggin' tight all the way -_-
Then, we go for our Buffet lunch at Coffee Terrace which is included in the bus ticket package Lenne bought. It took us friggin' more than 30mins to look for it thanks to all those stupid directions given. We have to walk all the way from First World to Genting Hotel,dang it. The Buffet is fine, nothing special though.
After our lunch. we went all the back to First World for "Ripley's Believe It or Not" stadium. A lot of interesting stuffs to see, so much that we were almost late for our room.
Next, PS-2 section and bathing. It took around 2hrs for every1 to bath! Next time we have to get 2 rooms or else bathing will consume most of our time. Went to some Hot Pot for dinner, it was torturing thanks to the oil... lazy for details, for those who went, yea, no more Hot Pot at Genting -_-
PS-2 section resume, then girls went to bed. The guys, Lenne, Me & JJ, spend whole night chatting nonsense and slept around 5-6am. It's fun to have guy's talk once in a while though.
5/7/2010 (Mon) - Basically spend whole day for rides. I'm getting lazy so gonna skip all the details, lol. They ditched me again, got stuck with the love birds :(
Lunch @ KFC/Burger King. Dinner? the snacks we bought lolz. We played Twister, King's Game, murderer, etc. Those snacks served its purpose very well. Sleep after that.
6/7/2010 (Tues) - Basically, pack & ciao. Went for lunch, the friggin' economic rice I took cost me rm23, like, WTF?! But yeah, its Genting after all. We also went for arcade before we move to bus station, I never play much, but it's fun watching them play, haha. And guess what? they ditched me AGAIN for the bus, so yea, I got seated with an uncle, not as bad as last time though. I hold my curtain this time so that I won't get grill again, LOL
Then, mum picked me, Steph & Kim up at Chloe's house and yea, that's all for the trips! :D
Gosh, it's really a pain in da ass to update so many things at once! but I don't wanna forget any of it, so just gotta spend some time to write them down ~_~
Lastly, I'VE GOT MY PS-3 TWO DAYS(which is a day after Genting) AGO!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! It's FRIGGIN' COOL! The remote joy-stick pawns it all! I bought Star Ocean The Last Hope, it's quite awesome, not as much as I expected though, but still, GREAT!!! XD
Imma looking for Tales of Vesperia and cheap FF13 now, hope that I can get it asap~ ><"
Btw, GUNDAM-00 IS COOL! and 16th of July is my execution day- result coming out -_-
Ok, done with random + quick update, and now....
Omg I'm HUNGRY, food~~~~~~~~~>"<
-2.59pm-
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
RANT!!!!!
Such a fuck-up holiday... dumb subjects arrangement of Monash, thanks A LOT!!! =="""
There's no way you can major in both Marketing & Finance within 3yrs time in Monash Uni no matter how you arrange your time table... so guys, go to other Uni if you're thinking bout majoring in these 2 subjects instead of this worthless-piece-of-shit Uni. >.>
I've been struggling through the 1st sem thinking "it will be fine after this. Once I get through all these troublesome subjects, I can go for my major subjects and complete them peacefully!"
and I hate epic-failed-plans man, seriously. I got it twice this holiday, when I'm so much looking forward to it >.>
Sigh... guess I should quit planning stuffs, just follow the flow like I usually did. Why spent so much effort and get turn down eh? People are so funny, they could just say "yes, sure, why not?" "of course I'm on it!" "aiya, you call dou I sure on!" etc. when they're planning about it, but "oh I can't make it." "Shit I forgot!" "huh? you guys never tell me also!" "got such thing ah?" etc. after you plan everything... Geez...
I've got no idea why some people could be so much enthusiastic about outing's planning and the actual outings, while some can just 'show' you that they're very interested, like it's freaking gonna happen, but turn you down to the max the next second.
and my mum & sis really knows when is the time to annoys me most! HELL YEAH! =="
Oh well, guess I'll just let it be after all these ranting. Friggin' tired of this, seriously. >.>
Just take things less seriously I guess~
-6.49pm-
There's no way you can major in both Marketing & Finance within 3yrs time in Monash Uni no matter how you arrange your time table... so guys, go to other Uni if you're thinking bout majoring in these 2 subjects instead of this worthless-piece-of-shit Uni. >.>
I've been struggling through the 1st sem thinking "it will be fine after this. Once I get through all these troublesome subjects, I can go for my major subjects and complete them peacefully!"
BULL SHIT!!!
MONASH SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh... guess I should quit planning stuffs, just follow the flow like I usually did. Why spent so much effort and get turn down eh? People are so funny, they could just say "yes, sure, why not?" "of course I'm on it!" "aiya, you call dou I sure on!" etc. when they're planning about it, but "oh I can't make it." "Shit I forgot!" "huh? you guys never tell me also!" "got such thing ah?" etc. after you plan everything... Geez...
I've got no idea why some people could be so much enthusiastic about outing's planning and the actual outings, while some can just 'show' you that they're very interested, like it's freaking gonna happen, but turn you down to the max the next second.
and my mum & sis really knows when is the time to annoys me most! HELL YEAH! =="
Oh well, guess I'll just let it be after all these ranting. Friggin' tired of this, seriously. >.>
Just take things less seriously I guess~
-6.49pm-
Friday, June 25, 2010
Holidays~
Well well... I guess I'm a little bit jealous- you're lucky bro, you have nice friends/"brothers" around to support you when you need them.
I've never actually had people who concerns & cheer me up all the time when I'm down... even though I'm always around when people need me, pfft. (Yes I'm complaining, if anybody don't like it then so be it, it's MY blog :P)
and at least you don't have to face something like your gf/ex went to your 'best friend' after you breakup with her, heh.
I hope you can get through this asap... I don't wish to get a flash back from you about things that happened to me before.
*******************************************************************************
Currently having holiday~~ and pretty much enjoying it :D
Though sometimes it's just soooooo free that I can't think of anything to do. Actually I still got quite some stuffs waiting for me: my new songs for the comptition, choir pieces, Tales of the Abyss, Kingdom Hearts, Glee, Full Metal Alchemist.......... etc.
I can even write them down into a whole long list! =="
However, sometimes you just feel like wasting your time.... I HAVE TIME TO WASTE, HAHA! xD
Just sit down, stare at the ceiling, thinking about the past... and learn something from that :)
or hide in my bed, empty my mind, sleep as much as I want to.
I really learned how to treasure my free time now, I've never love it as much before, LOL
I've got pretty much that I wanted to write actually... but I guess I'm too tired, everything went blank for now >.>
Oh well, it's time to go to bed! Tomorrow will be a half day outing with da Monash gang! xD
GOOD NIGHT PEPS!
-2.16am-
I've never actually had people who concerns & cheer me up all the time when I'm down... even though I'm always around when people need me, pfft. (Yes I'm complaining, if anybody don't like it then so be it, it's MY blog :P)
and at least you don't have to face something like your gf/ex went to your 'best friend' after you breakup with her, heh.
I hope you can get through this asap... I don't wish to get a flash back from you about things that happened to me before.
*******************************************************************************
Currently having holiday~~ and pretty much enjoying it :D
Though sometimes it's just soooooo free that I can't think of anything to do. Actually I still got quite some stuffs waiting for me: my new songs for the comptition, choir pieces, Tales of the Abyss, Kingdom Hearts, Glee, Full Metal Alchemist.......... etc.
I can even write them down into a whole long list! =="
However, sometimes you just feel like wasting your time.... I HAVE TIME TO WASTE, HAHA! xD
Just sit down, stare at the ceiling, thinking about the past... and learn something from that :)
or hide in my bed, empty my mind, sleep as much as I want to.
I really learned how to treasure my free time now, I've never love it as much before, LOL
I've got pretty much that I wanted to write actually... but I guess I'm too tired, everything went blank for now >.>
Oh well, it's time to go to bed! Tomorrow will be a half day outing with da Monash gang! xD
GOOD NIGHT PEPS!
-2.16am-
Friday, June 18, 2010
I'M FREE!!!
I'm finally through with all the papers!!! Even though I might fail like, well, 2 of them?
But still, at least I've tried my best last minute, lol
I guess I'll need to get some sleeps now... have been missing for god knows how many hours of sleeps already >.>
mega-awesomely tired!!!
NITEZ PEPS!!! :D
-1.37am-
But still, at least I've tried my best last minute, lol
I guess I'll need to get some sleeps now... have been missing for god knows how many hours of sleeps already >.>
mega-awesomely tired!!!
NITEZ PEPS!!! :D
-1.37am-
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Thoughts...
HAHA! FINALLY I'M THROUGH WITH STATISTIC PAPER!!! I'M FARKING THROUGH WITH IT!!!!!
Even though I might just fail it and gotta face it next year, but still... >.>
Yesterday studied 'til 4.30am, then wake up at 5.45am then straight away go for exam, hell yeah =_="
It was torturing... 'stress', I finally met you.
By the way, received a call from an old friend... he told me a shocking news... 4 years of relationship, how could this happen? What's in that head of his gf?? Gosh...
Well, I've got no right to criticize, since it's somehow non-of-my-business.
Anyways, it makes me realize that, even 4 years of relationship could just got blown away by some stupid reasons, so why should we struggle and got ourselves stuck in relationship?
I'm sorry for you bro, but thanks too, you made me realize how foolish I am... Yes, she don't need me, she got her own boy, I'm just... something extra- which could be there or could not be there, doesn't matter.
So, I've decided to walk on my own path as well...
For those who're enjoying your relationship, treasure every single moment, and remember them... remember the promises you've made with each other, remember the love you shares... don't hurt your loves one, or the one who loves you. Once you hold her/his hand, be prepare to commit and sacrifice- love ain't that simple after all.
For those who're struggling in relationship, either you keep struggling, or end it as soon as possible so that it will be less painful. Don't waste your time, don't waste other people's time; give yourself a chance, give others a chance. There is, always a better ones for you.
I wish all of you the very best luck!
Single ain't THAT bad after all :)
-1.03pm-
Even though I might just fail it and gotta face it next year, but still... >.>
Yesterday studied 'til 4.30am, then wake up at 5.45am then straight away go for exam, hell yeah =_="
It was torturing... 'stress', I finally met you.
By the way, received a call from an old friend... he told me a shocking news... 4 years of relationship, how could this happen? What's in that head of his gf?? Gosh...
Well, I've got no right to criticize, since it's somehow non-of-my-business.
Anyways, it makes me realize that, even 4 years of relationship could just got blown away by some stupid reasons, so why should we struggle and got ourselves stuck in relationship?
I'm sorry for you bro, but thanks too, you made me realize how foolish I am... Yes, she don't need me, she got her own boy, I'm just... something extra- which could be there or could not be there, doesn't matter.
So, I've decided to walk on my own path as well...
For those who're enjoying your relationship, treasure every single moment, and remember them... remember the promises you've made with each other, remember the love you shares... don't hurt your loves one, or the one who loves you. Once you hold her/his hand, be prepare to commit and sacrifice- love ain't that simple after all.
For those who're struggling in relationship, either you keep struggling, or end it as soon as possible so that it will be less painful. Don't waste your time, don't waste other people's time; give yourself a chance, give others a chance. There is, always a better ones for you.
I wish all of you the very best luck!
Single ain't THAT bad after all :)
-1.03pm-
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Drown In Stupidity
I shouldn't have called.... feels worse now, wtf! ARGH, whatever!
Tomorrow is finals and guess what the heck I just did? 7 HOURS OF GAMING!!! TALES OF THE ABYSS ALL THE WAY!!!
Accounting will combo me and kill me tomorrow thanks to my own stupidity, FML!
-5.06pm-
Tomorrow is finals and guess what the heck I just did? 7 HOURS OF GAMING!!! TALES OF THE ABYSS ALL THE WAY!!!
Accounting will combo me and kill me tomorrow thanks to my own stupidity, FML!
-5.06pm-
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
最近……
最近，常会不自觉地想起过去。
每当看见一些人、事、物，总会不经意地想起关于她的一些……
哈哈， 好久没在这里写这种东西了~
没想到，我们居然会结束得如此不堪。
我做错了吗？我不知道。心里确实是有点难过、遗憾，但同时却又为自己的坚决而感到欣慰。
最近很容易累，可能是因为常不定时睡觉吧？ 再加上白天通常都有一大堆东西要做，而晚上则静下来时，却任由思潮起伏……
有许多事，不知道该与谁分享……
有许多苦，不知道该如何宣泄……
有许多话，不想说出口……
发现，自己真的变了。从前的我，无法独自承受任何的不开心。每当不愉快的事情发生了，就必需要有人分担…… 而现在，却宁愿把许多东西往自己肚里吞了算。说到这，还得向许多人道谢呢~~
现在身处日本的 ‘面包’，谢谢你常常听我诉苦…… 几乎每次都是我在说，而你在听~谢谢，麻烦你了。直到现在，还常通过视频当我的‘垃圾桶’呢！哈哈~ 希望你一切顺利~ 感情上，学业上，什么都好！
老姐~ 谢谢你常为我分担难过，且给与我安慰，还介绍朋友给我认识，让我能和你们混在一起，忘了许多伤心的事…… 愿你能和你的那块‘木头’白头偕老~ 哈哈！
还有就是在怡保的‘衰女包’，谢谢你在我‘复原’的过程中陪伴我，让我度过了一段非常难忘开心的日子…… 希望你的感情问题能尽早解决、考试能顺顺利利！
…………
………
……
最后，还有……‘你’。谢谢你陪伴我的那段日子…… 不想提太多，也并不奢望你的原谅/体谅，但衷心希望你的那个他能把你照顾好，给予我无法满足的一切…… 祝你幸福、快乐。
呼~ 累了，该睡咯~ 待会儿还得当闹钟呢~ 哈哈！
-1.35am-
每当看见一些人、事、物，总会不经意地想起关于她的一些……
哈哈， 好久没在这里写这种东西了~
没想到，我们居然会结束得如此不堪。
我做错了吗？我不知道。心里确实是有点难过、遗憾，但同时却又为自己的坚决而感到欣慰。
最近很容易累，可能是因为常不定时睡觉吧？ 再加上白天通常都有一大堆东西要做，而晚上则静下来时，却任由思潮起伏……
有许多事，不知道该与谁分享……
有许多苦，不知道该如何宣泄……
有许多话，不想说出口……
发现，自己真的变了。从前的我，无法独自承受任何的不开心。每当不愉快的事情发生了，就必需要有人分担…… 而现在，却宁愿把许多东西往自己肚里吞了算。说到这，还得向许多人道谢呢~~
现在身处日本的 ‘面包’，谢谢你常常听我诉苦…… 几乎每次都是我在说，而你在听~谢谢，麻烦你了。直到现在，还常通过视频当我的‘垃圾桶’呢！哈哈~ 希望你一切顺利~ 感情上，学业上，什么都好！
老姐~ 谢谢你常为我分担难过，且给与我安慰，还介绍朋友给我认识，让我能和你们混在一起，忘了许多伤心的事…… 愿你能和你的那块‘木头’白头偕老~ 哈哈！
还有就是在怡保的‘衰女包’，谢谢你在我‘复原’的过程中陪伴我，让我度过了一段非常难忘开心的日子…… 希望你的感情问题能尽早解决、考试能顺顺利利！
…………
………
……
最后，还有……‘你’。谢谢你陪伴我的那段日子…… 不想提太多，也并不奢望你的原谅/体谅，但衷心希望你的那个他能把你照顾好，给予我无法满足的一切…… 祝你幸福、快乐。
呼~ 累了，该睡咯~ 待会儿还得当闹钟呢~ 哈哈！
-1.35am-
Friday, May 21, 2010
Under-Stress-Students
This is what happen when the students who are persuading Bachelor of Business & Commerce are overwhelmed with their assignments:
Lenne Espressimo- THANK YOU Stephanie Yap!! YOU SAVED ME FROM THE PIT!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!
Lenne Espressimo- THANK YOU Stephanie Yap!! YOU SAVED ME FROM THE PIT!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!
stupid pdf that corrupted my pc. BUCK YOU PDF!! GO FTW YOU PDF!! YEAH! LIKE... face the wall..
Stephanie Yap
i dun even feel like reading it
Stephanie Yap
and jk, you're as bad as lin. so shut up
Ang Joonkie
Steph: your statement is informal, please re-phrase it and support it with Journal articles, since you're criticizing me by referring to Mr. Phang's work (Phang, 2010).
Stephanie Yap
shut up
Lenne Espressimo-
seriously. internet pisses me off!! (Charlene, 2010) sometimes it just gives you things you don't really need. for example.. heart attack? high blood pressure? high glucose pleasure? mental disorder? tsk.. do we need them..? seriously
Ang Joonkie
Steph: I don't even know how to cite that since a lot of people are using it.
Assumption: Assuming that there are majority of the population are using the phrase, "shut up".
Lenne: for good lord's sake, I was wondering about the same damn thing (Phang, 2010)!
Assumption: Assuming that good lord does exist, and that all the illness stated in Phang (2010) will possibly occur.
Assumption: Assuming that there are majority of the population are using the phrase, "shut up".
Lenne: for good lord's sake, I was wondering about the same damn thing (Phang, 2010)!
Assumption: Assuming that good lord does exist, and that all the illness stated in Phang (2010) will possibly occur.
*****************************************************
I don't think anybody will even bother to read it, included myself (not again, at least). However, it might be fun to read it back after 10 years if Blogspot is still alive.
Thank you.
References:
Facebook, (2010)
-9.49pm-
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Little bit of Updates
Now now, I'd finally learned how to treasure my free time, LOL
Ever since I started Monash Uni, it's like.... BUSY! Thanks to my Uni life + Choir practices + Vocal lessons + LCCI lessons + exercising when I have time.... HOLY COW! I've got no time to think about other stuffs even if I wanted to! Well, at late night perhaps.
Anyways, I'm content... maybe way too 'content'. It's a good thing though; I rarely feel like I'm wasting time anymore. Errr... can't really figure out much to say, nothing's new? Ah... 1 of my dearest friend gotten into relationship already! WOOOHOOOO! When she told me I was likeL:" FINALLY!" xD
Good for her, wish her all the best! :D
Recently I've started gaming again, yea. "Tales of the Abyss" RAWKS! I know it's an old game, in fact I've completed it once, but due to some reasons I lost the saved data, dammit! Oh well, it's the best of the 'Tales series' in PS 2, and the plot is great! So I can't really complain~
See? Cool? Spot the middle guy with red wrong hair? He sucks, HAHA! He's the main character indeed(the name is Luke), but I don't really like him 'til the later part of the game.
The blond guy on the bottom-right corner, Guy, yea, that's his name, Guy. Errr, I mean, his name is Guy, I'm not lying! He's cool, yeap, throughout the game.
Nothing much about the girls, unless you can't tell that the girl with long hair on the left(Tear) is beautiful(and she has a brilliant voice!) and the girl beside her(Anise) with a doll looks mischievous plus the last one with a Royal dress(Princess Natalia) feels... Royal? lol
Know what's missing? YEA! The blue 'thing' down there(Mieu the Cheagle, it's cute!) and that guy with spec plus a somewhat 'creepy smile'(you'll feel this way too if you've ever played the Abyss), Colonel Jade Curtiss.
Mieu is just somehow a pity pet of Luke, nothing much. Jade... Jade Curtiss, this guy is PRICELESS. His freaking lameness is totally compatible with some of my friends. Thanks to him I enjoy the cut scenes of this game very much, hahahaha......... !
********************************************************************************
Oh crap, why am I talking about this so much? It wasn't my main intention to write this post! Well, you can see how addicted I am.
Anyways, I'm somehow 'enjoying' my life now, even though sometimes I feel like I needed more space to breathe, but it suits me well-- at least I don't have time to think about something :)
Guess I'm gonna stop right here, gotta get some food that my mum just made!
Oh yea, Mother's day is near! Have you guys prepare something for the most wonderful & lovely lady in your life? Better do so if you haven't! Without her, you're not even suppose to exist! HAH!
Remember to tell her how much you love her if you didn't do it often~ it's a chance for you to not get embarrass by saying it on this special day! :DDD
Enjoy your life guys!
-6.57pm-
Ever since I started Monash Uni, it's like.... BUSY! Thanks to my Uni life + Choir practices + Vocal lessons + LCCI lessons + exercising when I have time.... HOLY COW! I've got no time to think about other stuffs even if I wanted to! Well, at late night perhaps.
Anyways, I'm content... maybe way too 'content'. It's a good thing though; I rarely feel like I'm wasting time anymore. Errr... can't really figure out much to say, nothing's new? Ah... 1 of my dearest friend gotten into relationship already! WOOOHOOOO! When she told me I was likeL:" FINALLY!" xD
Good for her, wish her all the best! :D
Recently I've started gaming again, yea.
The blond guy on the bottom-right corner, Guy, yea, that's his name, Guy. Errr, I mean, his name is Guy, I'm not lying! He's cool, yeap, throughout the game.
Nothing much about the girls, unless you can't tell that the girl with long hair on the left(Tear) is beautiful(and she has a brilliant voice!) and the girl beside her(Anise) with a doll looks mischievous plus the last one with a Royal dress(Princess Natalia) feels... Royal? lol
Know what's missing? YEA! The blue 'thing' down there(Mieu the Cheagle, it's cute!) and that guy with spec plus a somewhat 'creepy smile'(you'll feel this way too if you've ever played the Abyss), Colonel Jade Curtiss.
Mieu is just somehow a pity pet of Luke, nothing much. Jade... Jade Curtiss, this guy is PRICELESS. His freaking lameness is totally compatible with some of my friends. Thanks to him I enjoy the cut scenes of this game very much, hahahaha......... !
********************************************************************************
Oh crap, why am I talking about this so much? It wasn't my main intention to write this post! Well, you can see how addicted I am.
Anyways, I'm somehow 'enjoying' my life now, even though sometimes I feel like I needed more space to breathe, but it suits me well-- at least I don't have time to think about something :)
Guess I'm gonna stop right here, gotta get some food that my mum just made!
Oh yea, Mother's day is near! Have you guys prepare something for the most wonderful & lovely lady in your life? Better do so if you haven't! Without her, you're not even suppose to exist! HAH!
Remember to tell her how much you love her if you didn't do it often~ it's a chance for you to not get embarrass by saying it on this special day! :DDD
Enjoy your life guys!
-6.57pm-
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Relationship?
Currently in Monash's comp lab... we(Me, Lenne, Steph, Char, Chloe) are s'pose to do our assignment 2 for B & E stats ya know, but everyone ended up Facebooking and such(including me), expected lol
Well, when I was FB-ing + Reading online manga, I saw a 'kinda meaningful' post, some of the words makes me feel like writing a blog post to tell those who've been complaining about their relationship.
"相愛容易相處難，婚姻與戀愛最大的不同，就是「戀愛看的是對方的優點」，而「婚姻卻是要包容對方的缺點」。 "
"在決定要不要嫁給(娶)他之前，應該先問自己：我愛的是他哪一個部份？這個部份是他的全部嗎？"
"在決定要不要離婚之前，也應該先問自己：我討厭的是他哪一個部份？而這個部份是他的全部嗎？"
"與其說緣份是遇到一個能讓自己欣賞與被欣賞優點的人，倒不如說是緣份是找到一個，能讓自己願意包容與被包容缺點的人。"
"以戀愛的心來看婚姻，自然是怎麼看怎麼失望，我認為這樣的人是還不適合結婚的，否則必然會將自己的痛苦建築在別人痛苦之上。"
"婚姻須要經營，任何事業可以失敗重來，婚姻卻沒有這種特質！"
.....etc.
There're tons of words that are making sense, it'll be time consuming if I post every single one of them, haha.... Well, I've shared the link in my Facebook, so feel free to read it there. :)
p/s: ah jie, Jas, Cath... read it! xD
-1.43pm-
Well, when I was FB-ing + Reading online manga, I saw a 'kinda meaningful' post, some of the words makes me feel like writing a blog post to tell those who've been complaining about their relationship.
"相愛容易相處難，婚姻與戀愛最大的不同，就是「戀愛看的是對方的優點」，而「婚姻卻是要包容對方的缺點」。 "
"在決定要不要嫁給(娶)他之前，應該先問自己：我愛的是他哪一個部份？這個部份是他的全部嗎？"
"在決定要不要離婚之前，也應該先問自己：我討厭的是他哪一個部份？而這個部份是他的全部嗎？"
"與其說緣份是遇到一個能讓自己欣賞與被欣賞優點的人，倒不如說是緣份是找到一個，能讓自己願意包容與被包容缺點的人。"
"以戀愛的心來看婚姻，自然是怎麼看怎麼失望，我認為這樣的人是還不適合結婚的，否則必然會將自己的痛苦建築在別人痛苦之上。"
"婚姻須要經營，任何事業可以失敗重來，婚姻卻沒有這種特質！"
.....etc.
There're tons of words that are making sense, it'll be time consuming if I post every single one of them, haha.... Well, I've shared the link in my Facebook, so feel free to read it there. :)
p/s: ah jie, Jas, Cath... read it! xD
-1.43pm-
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Busy Busy & Busy
21/4/2010
Foooohhhh..... 1.51am eh? just reach home few mins ago @@"
Recently, I've been really busy.... simply busy! Right after I handed in my last piece of Assignment 1- Accounting, presentation for management & Assignmentsssss 2 awaits!
Luckily, get to relax bit when I'm with those Uni friends of mine... these buncha peps are crazeh! They can be nice, can be fun, can be an ass(in a good way), can be mega-awesomely lame, can be bitchy, can be friggin entertaining! For instance, crapped & bitched with them for this whole day afternoon, HAH!
Tell you what, ever since I started to car pool with Steph, I laugh da helloutta my ass every friggin Uni day man! It's real damn fun to have a friend like her who stone you every time when you're driving... except-- when she's driving, and traffic jam occurs. Trust me, nobody wanna sit in da same car with her for that moment.
Just gotta mention about this-- I got back my damn econs essay today... 4.5/10, well, expected, since I'm such an ass who always do things at last mins then screw everything up.
Anyways, I've been having practices & rehearsal for tomorrow(22nd) & Friday's(23rd) performances... it was real damn exhausting! Especially when Mr. Lim asked us to "SING IT TO THE EXTREME! THIS IS AN OPERA!" for the song Quando Menvo.. holy mother *beep beep*! Today's full run rehearsal ends at 12.3x am, and we had our supper at a mamak called Nali(wonder if I spelled it correctly), satisfied, fooh!
It's really tiring when I'm involved in a Quartet, an opera ensemble, choir, and back stage works at the same time! Learned a lot though.... seriously. It's my 1st time performing as a ensemble soloist (minor char, but a good start I guess :) for public performance!
Thank you Mr. Lim, for giving me such a precious chance to learn (even though you just put me in without informing me at all, LOL).
It's been quite some time since I actually get involve so much with the choir members... it's really fun to spend time with them. We joke, we sing, we enjoy every single piece of music, and we work together to make a concert work... yeap, it totally pulled all my attention away from... well, something.
Still, I feel like something's missing even though I'm so much occupied... except every morning I guess? haha..
Ah well... gotta sleep soon guys! Have been sleeping kinda 'early' these days man... my friends keep telling me that "how come your eyes so red 1 ah?", hahaha...
Owh, before that, recently I got addicted to the mange "One Piece"! Read it online though, seems like it's near to the ending part already? Don't feel like finishing it so soon :(
1 of my favorite character in this Manga is missing though... Brooke, a skeleton, hahaha...
-2.20am-
Foooohhhh..... 1.51am eh? just reach home few mins ago @@"
Recently, I've been really busy.... simply busy! Right after I handed in my last piece of Assignment 1- Accounting, presentation for management & Assignmentsssss 2 awaits!
Luckily, get to relax bit when I'm with those Uni friends of mine... these buncha peps are crazeh! They can be nice, can be fun, can be an ass(in a good way), can be mega-awesomely lame, can be bitchy, can be friggin entertaining! For instance, crapped & bitched with them for this whole day afternoon, HAH!
Tell you what, ever since I started to car pool with Steph, I laugh da helloutta my ass every friggin Uni day man! It's real damn fun to have a friend like her who stone you every time when you're driving... except-- when she's driving, and traffic jam occurs. Trust me, nobody wanna sit in da same car with her for that moment.
Just gotta mention about this-- I got back my damn econs essay today... 4.5/10, well, expected, since I'm such an ass who always do things at last mins then screw everything up.
Anyways, I've been having practices & rehearsal for tomorrow(22nd) & Friday's(23rd) performances... it was real damn exhausting! Especially when Mr. Lim asked us to "SING IT TO THE EXTREME! THIS IS AN OPERA!" for the song Quando Menvo.. holy mother *beep beep*! Today's full run rehearsal ends at 12.3x am, and we had our supper at a mamak called Nali(wonder if I spelled it correctly), satisfied, fooh!
It's really tiring when I'm involved in a Quartet, an opera ensemble, choir, and back stage works at the same time! Learned a lot though.... seriously. It's my 1st time performing as a ensemble soloist (minor char, but a good start I guess :) for public performance!
Thank you Mr. Lim, for giving me such a precious chance to learn (even though you just put me in without informing me at all, LOL).
It's been quite some time since I actually get involve so much with the choir members... it's really fun to spend time with them. We joke, we sing, we enjoy every single piece of music, and we work together to make a concert work... yeap, it totally pulled all my attention away from... well, something.
Still, I feel like something's missing even though I'm so much occupied... except every morning I guess? haha..
Ah well... gotta sleep soon guys! Have been sleeping kinda 'early' these days man... my friends keep telling me that "how come your eyes so red 1 ah?", hahaha...
Owh, before that, recently I got addicted to the mange "One Piece"! Read it online though, seems like it's near to the ending part already? Don't feel like finishing it so soon :(
-2.20am-
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I'm fatigue
16/4/2010
Sheesh.... waited so long for a call, and now I just gotta get my ass off to my bed coz of this kinda reason she gave... zzzz...
Wondering why am I so stupid again eh? Oh well... Seems like... well, the usual thing in my mind, just gotta keep it to myself.
Anyways, was kinda happy today, finally finished my accounting assignment! :)
I rushed like shit... 1st I couldn't complete it at the deadline, plus I was FREAKING TIRED! Then, after I finished everyting, I rush to Mr. Ravi(the lecturer)'s room to hand it up, luckily somebody was coming out so I could squeeze in before the door lock again.
Before that, when I was doing all the staple work, Amos asked:" why your assignment looks so thick?" I didn't really bother checking and when I found a stapler written "for 50 pages and above", I just get it over with and rush to the office.
So, when I rush into Mr. Ravi's room, I was like:" sorry sir, printing problem(that's why I'm late)." *handing in the paper* "it's ok, leave it here." "thanks sir.."
Then, suddenly he was like "huh? why did you put this along with your assignment?" When I look at it----- FARK!!! MY UNIT GUIDE!!! NO WONDER IT WAS SO FRIGGIN' THICK DAMMIT! =__________="""
Yeap, embarrassing, I know.
After all the ruckus, I called Ms. Paul and told her about the lost book.. she was kinda, err, 'shocked' like I've expected? lol
I apologized and she told me we'll discuss it later when we have class.. sorry Ms. Paul, really didn't mean it T____T
Then, on the way home, I called the turtle since I wanted to have dinner with somebody(my family ditched me, somehow). He told me that it's Walter's early birthday celebration party today! I was kinda tired actually, was thinking bout having a quick dinner then go home and sleep! But since I haven't seen those gang of people for quite some time, plus the turtle keep convincing me, at the end I decided to go... yea, even though I was entirely fatigued.
When we reach there, I found out that it's a BBQ party! I love BBQ just so u know ><"
since I'm more interested in havin' fun cookin' those food-- esp the lamb chops! =D
17/4/2010
Well, I had fun, really fun... I'm kinda tired now so gotta skip all the details, hehe. I followed the turtle's car there, and he went off early, so Roy sent me home instead... he told me about sumthin', that've been keep bothering me for quite some time... yea, we had a long chat, not a very good 1 though.. so my mood kinda went down, wavering..
I saw her online when I reach home and sign in my MSN, with a big "T___________T" face on her msn pm. I asked her what happened, she said that she'll call me later... so I waited, doing nothin' right in front ma comp.. for god knows how long. Then it started raining outside.. it reminds me of how tired I am, seriously farking sleep. She didn't reply me on MSN, so I called her... she never pick up, but told me "my phone no battery." I was like... WHAT?!
So what's the point she told me that she'll call me? C'mon.. if she don't really feel like talking, just tell me that! If she really wanted to talk, she would've check her phone 1st isn't it? =="
Urgh.. tired like shit, gotta sleep now, whatever. Why should I get my mood down like shit for something like this? I actually bother? HAH!
It's been like 5 days 'almost-without-sleep'... gosh! Eyes blur like shit for 5 days @@"
Good night world! when I was typing my eyes was half-closed man, SHIT! ><"
-2.34pm-
Sheesh.... waited so long for a call, and now I just gotta get my ass off to my bed coz of this kinda reason she gave... zzzz...
Wondering why am I so stupid again eh? Oh well... Seems like... well, the usual thing in my mind, just gotta keep it to myself.
Anyways, was kinda happy today, finally finished my accounting assignment! :)
I rushed like shit... 1st I couldn't complete it at the deadline, plus I was FREAKING TIRED! Then, after I finished everyting, I rush to Mr. Ravi(the lecturer)'s room to hand it up, luckily somebody was coming out so I could squeeze in before the door lock again.
Before that, when I was doing all the staple work, Amos asked:" why your assignment looks so thick?" I didn't really bother checking and when I found a stapler written "for 50 pages and above", I just get it over with and rush to the office.
So, when I rush into Mr. Ravi's room, I was like:" sorry sir, printing problem(that's why I'm late)." *handing in the paper* "it's ok, leave it here." "thanks sir.."
Then, suddenly he was like "huh? why did you put this along with your assignment?" When I look at it----- FARK!!! MY UNIT GUIDE!!! NO WONDER IT WAS SO FRIGGIN' THICK DAMMIT! =__________="""
Yeap, embarrassing, I know.
After all the ruckus, I called Ms. Paul and told her about the lost book.. she was kinda, err, 'shocked' like I've expected? lol
I apologized and she told me we'll discuss it later when we have class.. sorry Ms. Paul, really didn't mean it T____T
Then, on the way home, I called the turtle since I wanted to have dinner with somebody(my family ditched me, somehow). He told me that it's Walter's early birthday celebration party today! I was kinda tired actually, was thinking bout having a quick dinner then go home and sleep! But since I haven't seen those gang of people for quite some time, plus the turtle keep convincing me, at the end I decided to go... yea, even though I was entirely fatigued.
When we reach there, I found out that it's a BBQ party! I love BBQ just so u know ><"
since I'm more interested in havin' fun cookin' those food-- esp the lamb chops! =D
17/4/2010
Well, I had fun, really fun... I'm kinda tired now so gotta skip all the details, hehe. I followed the turtle's car there, and he went off early, so Roy sent me home instead... he told me about sumthin', that've been keep bothering me for quite some time... yea, we had a long chat, not a very good 1 though.. so my mood kinda went down, wavering..
I saw her online when I reach home and sign in my MSN, with a big "T___________T" face on her msn pm. I asked her what happened, she said that she'll call me later... so I waited, doing nothin' right in front ma comp.. for god knows how long. Then it started raining outside.. it reminds me of how tired I am, seriously farking sleep. She didn't reply me on MSN, so I called her... she never pick up, but told me "my phone no battery." I was like... WHAT?!
So what's the point she told me that she'll call me? C'mon.. if she don't really feel like talking, just tell me that! If she really wanted to talk, she would've check her phone 1st isn't it? =="
Urgh.. tired like shit, gotta sleep now, whatever. Why should I get my mood down like shit for something like this? I actually bother? HAH!
It's been like 5 days 'almost-without-sleep'... gosh! Eyes blur like shit for 5 days @@"
Good night world! when I was typing my eyes was half-closed man, SHIT! ><"
-2.34pm-
Thursday, April 8, 2010
坏心情
心情，好久没这么差了…… 原本被老妈无端乱骂一通，心情已经差得不像话了，谁知道…… 唉~~ 不想提太多，提了又怎样？她在乎吗？哈哈……
最近，开始习惯以英文写部落格了--她说不喜欢看华文嘛~ 一下子重写华文，还有点不习惯呢~ 呵呵~
其实，真不明白自己在烦些什么？也许就像 Stephanie 所说的，她不会属于我的，还是时候该‘走’咯~
日子久了，奢望的也越多。这样下去对大家都不好吧？真差劲…… 每次都是自己受不了而毁了一切的。我还真不知道自己还能撑得了多久呢…… 真怕会再次受伤害啊……
算了，不想了！还是去玩我的 Grand Fantasia Online 吧！
当心情差时，投入全副精神在游戏及漫画里，就好过得多了。
今晚……应该睡得着吧？ ^^"
-1.17am-
最近，开始习惯以英文写部落格了--她说不喜欢看华文嘛~ 一下子重写华文，还有点不习惯呢~ 呵呵~
其实，真不明白自己在烦些什么？也许就像 Stephanie 所说的，她不会属于我的，还是时候该‘走’咯~
日子久了，奢望的也越多。这样下去对大家都不好吧？真差劲…… 每次都是自己受不了而毁了一切的。我还真不知道自己还能撑得了多久呢…… 真怕会再次受伤害啊……
算了，不想了！还是去玩我的 Grand Fantasia Online 吧！
当心情差时，投入全副精神在游戏及漫画里，就好过得多了。
今晚……应该睡得着吧？ ^^"
-1.17am-
Saturday, April 3, 2010
My 20th Birthday~
Yeap, a day after April Fool is the day when I came to this world~~
Even though I've not been looking forward to it... this year, I had my happiest birthday celebration :)
Steph, Pauline, Char, Lenne, Chloe, JJ, Link.. I LOVE THE HEAVEN OUTTA YOU GUYS!!!! XD
These people... gave me the best celebration ever! They came over to my house, went for Chicken Clay-pot/Steamboat, back to my house sing/yell, played PS2, went Temptation for dinner, then..... a 'surprise' I will say, haha.
I got 'prank', chicken dance, so-called "Pauline's friend", a Golden deck of cards, and a Superman T-shirt, LOL! Well I love the cards most, even though it's the cheapest (Stephanie, 2010) among all the 3 gifts~ The Marilyn Monroe is simply..... well, it made me speechless, stone giler, lol.. and the T-shirt is like friggin sexy(don't u guys know my size?). Oh btw Lenne, you better don't mess with me since I'm holding your secret, ngek ngek ngek~~
Special thanks to Pauline who drove here and there just to make it for my celebration! I know it's damn ma fan lolz. And Steph, thanks for swallowing the damn huge piece of cake! Can't believe you actually put it into your tiny stomach after the heavy dinner at Temptation~ x)
Well, we had so much fun and it's kinda hard to explain everything without our pics/videos... STEPH & CHLOE!!! Do your work!!! I'm so gonna write another post when I have those pictures with me alright?
Now, thanks(again) for those who wishes me... OH YEA! speaking of this, yesterday after they went home I wanted to write a blog before 12am(it was 11 something), who knows when I open my Facebook-- 39 notification + coming & coming & coming.... OMG! I replied every single post, 1 by 1, but it just keep coming! ><"
Then... someone whom I hold very dear spam my wall post!!! 17 posts in 1 shot! xD
and she actually stay up to 11.59pm just to wish me another "Happy Birthday"! Thanks my sweet lil' Angel :)
I know you're unhappy recently, sorry that I couldn't really make you smile.. :(
Lastly, sorry for those whom I 'somehow' forgotten to invite to join us for the half day trip! ><"
I know you guys won't blame me right? :)))
Sorry~~~ ><"
-8.14pm-
Even though I've not been looking forward to it... this year, I had my happiest birthday celebration :)
Steph, Pauline, Char, Lenne, Chloe, JJ, Link.. I LOVE THE HEAVEN OUTTA YOU GUYS!!!! XD
These people... gave me the best celebration ever! They came over to my house, went for Chicken Clay-pot/Steamboat, back to my house sing/yell, played PS2, went Temptation for dinner, then..... a 'surprise' I will say, haha.
I got 'prank', chicken dance, so-called "Pauline's friend", a Golden deck of cards, and a Superman T-shirt, LOL! Well I love the cards most, even though it's the cheapest (Stephanie, 2010) among all the 3 gifts~ The Marilyn Monroe is simply..... well, it made me speechless, stone giler, lol.. and the T-shirt is like friggin sexy(don't u guys know my size?). Oh btw Lenne, you better don't mess with me since I'm holding your secret, ngek ngek ngek~~
Special thanks to Pauline who drove here and there just to make it for my celebration! I know it's damn ma fan lolz. And Steph, thanks for swallowing the damn huge piece of cake! Can't believe you actually put it into your tiny stomach after the heavy dinner at Temptation~ x)
Well, we had so much fun and it's kinda hard to explain everything without our pics/videos... STEPH & CHLOE!!! Do your work!!! I'm so gonna write another post when I have those pictures with me alright?
Now, thanks(again) for those who wishes me... OH YEA! speaking of this, yesterday after they went home I wanted to write a blog before 12am(it was 11 something), who knows when I open my Facebook-- 39 notification + coming & coming & coming.... OMG! I replied every single post, 1 by 1, but it just keep coming! ><"
Then... someone whom I hold very dear spam my wall post!!! 17 posts in 1 shot! xD
and she actually stay up to 11.59pm just to wish me another "Happy Birthday"! Thanks my sweet lil' Angel :)
I know you're unhappy recently, sorry that I couldn't really make you smile.. :(
Lastly, sorry for those whom I 'somehow' forgotten to invite to join us for the half day trip! ><"
I know you guys won't blame me right? :)))
Sorry~~~ ><"
-8.14pm-
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Funny Days
Looking at the tiny chat box in my blog.... HAHA!!! Sorry, it's just funny =P
For a moment, I wanted to 'purify' the 'polluted' chat box, but the next sec, I decided to let it be-- it's just fun to look back at these conversation. Too bad cbox couldn't save all the messages~
UPDATES:
Few days before, I was packed with assignments(even though I keep slacking), vocal lessons, LCCI lessons, and so on. Honestly, kinda stress out with my desktop corrupted, plus some stupid things happening in my blog, haha.
Well, finally I'm done with my Management assignment(rush everything today, HAHA!) thanks to everybody's(esp. Pauline & JJ) assistance as my 'fellowship' today! xD
Plus settled that funny event yesterday~ Phew~~~ finally I have more space to breathe, even though the air is somehow polluted ~_~
Now when I think about it, why did I actually tried to explain things to some strangers that insults me when they know nothing? It's not like I'm very 'civilize', but at least I know how to respect people-- whether they're my guests or my foes. However, this group of.... people, are simply barbarians, and I actually responsed to their 'insults'! O_O
Maybe thanks to the damn management assignment that stressed me out 'til I don't wanna do it instead of entertaining these.... people? hahaha~
I can't say that I had fun with those offensive words but..... well, maybe a little :P
It's been quite sometimes for me to receive THESE whole lot of criticism ya know? The feeling such as my blood boils, heart beats faster, head gets hotter... it's quite a good exercise I would say, LOL
Fortunately, there're still quite some of my Bros & Sis who've been offering me their concerns and supports-- it's not like I was really THAT upset, but still, thanks guys, sorry for restraining you guys' 'freedom of speech' in my blog! I simply don't want you guys to get involve in this matter, memang sorry la bros & sis, haha.. again, thanks for allowing me to handle this on my own, sincerely.
After I handed in my management assignment today, I was and I am real damn HAPPY!!! FINALLY!!! :D
Had fun crapping with Steph & Pauline on our way back home today, as usual~
Not gonna care about the other 2 pending assignments, screw them now, lolz
Two days later is ma day~~ nothing special, just that I'm growing older, again. It's not that important anymore.. even if I'm celebrating with friends, guess it'll be 'just another outing'. Never really look forward to it like I previously did, honestly. Now, as long as I could spend my time with my friends, I'm happy, and that's all matters. I'm still looking forward for this Cheras trip OK?! Don't ffk me again T________T
Not gonna care about anymore 'weird native languages'~ feel free to drop your 'greetings' if you wanna, I don't mind to enchant ma day with it. However, ME-NO-ENTERTAINING, sorry!
p/s: please don't find it offensive if I delete any further message in Cbox, since I have the full authority to remove anything I dislike in MY space anyways =)
Missing a lazy piggie now, hehe... hutan babi~~ sleep 'til you giler then only you know! kekeke...
Alrite, gotta sleep earlier tonight as I promised to someone, Good Night world~~
Owh btw, just been told by my parents that my room is gotta be paint in light-green, *eww* -__________-
What to do? They're my parents, they own the house, not me, accepted the fact as I could do nothing about it >_>
-11.59pm-
For a moment, I wanted to 'purify' the 'polluted' chat box, but the next sec, I decided to let it be-- it's just fun to look back at these conversation. Too bad cbox couldn't save all the messages~
UPDATES:
Few days before, I was packed with assignments(even though I keep slacking), vocal lessons, LCCI lessons, and so on. Honestly, kinda stress out with my desktop corrupted, plus some stupid things happening in my blog, haha.
Well, finally I'm done with my Management assignment(rush everything today, HAHA!) thanks to everybody's(esp. Pauline & JJ) assistance as my 'fellowship' today! xD
Plus settled that funny event yesterday~ Phew~~~ finally I have more space to breathe, even though the air is somehow polluted ~_~
Now when I think about it, why did I actually tried to explain things to some strangers that insults me when they know nothing? It's not like I'm very 'civilize', but at least I know how to respect people-- whether they're my guests or my foes. However, this group of.... people, are simply barbarians, and I actually responsed to their 'insults'! O_O
Maybe thanks to the damn management assignment that stressed me out 'til I don't wanna do it instead of entertaining these.... people? hahaha~
I can't say that I had fun with those offensive words but..... well, maybe a little :P
It's been quite sometimes for me to receive THESE whole lot of criticism ya know? The feeling such as my blood boils, heart beats faster, head gets hotter... it's quite a good exercise I would say, LOL
Fortunately, there're still quite some of my Bros & Sis who've been offering me their concerns and supports-- it's not like I was really THAT upset, but still, thanks guys, sorry for restraining you guys' 'freedom of speech' in my blog! I simply don't want you guys to get involve in this matter, memang sorry la bros & sis, haha.. again, thanks for allowing me to handle this on my own, sincerely.
After I handed in my management assignment today, I was and I am real damn HAPPY!!! FINALLY!!! :D
Had fun crapping with Steph & Pauline on our way back home today, as usual~
Not gonna care about the other 2 pending assignments, screw them now, lolz
Two days later is ma day~~ nothing special, just that I'm growing older, again. It's not that important anymore.. even if I'm celebrating with friends, guess it'll be 'just another outing'. Never really look forward to it like I previously did, honestly. Now, as long as I could spend my time with my friends, I'm happy, and that's all matters. I'm still looking forward for this Cheras trip OK?! Don't ffk me again T________T
Not gonna care about anymore 'weird native languages'~ feel free to drop your 'greetings' if you wanna, I don't mind to enchant ma day with it. However, ME-NO-ENTERTAINING, sorry!
p/s: please don't find it offensive if I delete any further message in Cbox, since I have the full authority to remove anything I dislike in MY space anyways =)
Missing a lazy piggie now, hehe... hutan babi~~ sleep 'til you giler then only you know! kekeke...
Alrite, gotta sleep earlier tonight as I promised to someone, Good Night world~~
Owh btw, just been told by my parents that my room is gotta be paint in light-green, *eww* -__________-
What to do? They're my parents, they own the house, not me, accepted the fact as I could do nothing about it >_>
-11.59pm-
Sunday, March 28, 2010
我是混蛋~
第一次如此绝情，感觉上真地很不像自己呢！简直就是混蛋一个嘛~ ^^"
也好，现在燕把所有与我有关的东西及联络方式都删除了。虽然觉得有点失落，但还是松了口气……俗语说：眼不见为净。以后各走各路，就当彼此没认识过对方吧！这可说是我最不想要的结果啊……
老实说，有点内疚呢~ 可是，有些人就是这样。你越给她面子，她就越是得寸进尺，还是对自己好些吧！
*要是你真那么看重那枚戒指的话，你早就向我要回了。现在只是不想在朋友面前丢面子而已吧？抱歉，没让你如愿。现在，‘它’对我来说，真地很重要，远远重要过你……*
柔呢~~？现在还在陪着妈妈吧？好想念她哦~ : (
-11.35pm-
也好，现在燕把所有与我有关的东西及联络方式都删除了。虽然觉得有点失落，但还是松了口气……俗语说：眼不见为净。以后各走各路，就当彼此没认识过对方吧！这可说是我最不想要的结果啊……
老实说，有点内疚呢~ 可是，有些人就是这样。你越给她面子，她就越是得寸进尺，还是对自己好些吧！
*要是你真那么看重那枚戒指的话，你早就向我要回了。现在只是不想在朋友面前丢面子而已吧？抱歉，没让你如愿。现在，‘它’对我来说，真地很重要，远远重要过你……*
柔呢~~？现在还在陪着妈妈吧？好想念她哦~ : (
-11.35pm-
Friday, March 26, 2010
Broken Inside
Just when I'm not in a good mood, I read her blog... she said, she's missing him...
*sigh*...
I'm in no position of getting jealous isn't it? ^^"
But why am I feeling so down now?
Recently, lots of things happened.. I totally got screwed up in relationships, as always, every single time. I really hate it when I'm giving out my best, but always got turn down for all the effort I've given.
It like... I'm always around when the person I love got hurt. I'll accompany them, entertain them, heal them, then 'send' them away to other guys.. I've been abandoned then.
What's this 'true love' means actually? I've got no goddamn idea! I always thought that, if you are really deep in love with someone, you've gotta sacrifice for them. However, it doesn't seems like it's working..
Every time, when I'm trying to be nice, trying to do anything I could for the one I love, it always turn out to be wrong. At the end, they'll always ended up going ahead with another person, leaving me behind, like a clown who've go off stage, hiding in a corner crying like an idiot.
April Fool
Am I a fool since I came to this world a day after April Fool?
2 days ago, Yan said she wanted to take back the ring she gave me.. She should have taken it back when I wanted to give it back to her back then.
Now, I'm just kinda get use to wearing it everyday.. it's a very important ring to me, not only it brings back memories, but it's been with me when I'm sad, hurt, lost, afraid, facing insomnia... and she wanted to take it back just by sending me a message, telling me it's a memorable item to her regardless how I felt?!
NO!
This ring is more important to me than anything else! I don't wanna give it back to her, I really don't want to... even though I said i will, but I changed my mind. It's much more important than anything else.
I know I'm an ass, hate me if you want to, despise me as you like! I'm not letting anyone to take any important things from me anymore!
"When you're dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part."
How much more could this broken heart of mine bears?
If I've been healing the hearts of others by making myself looks like a fool, who is the one that will heal mine...?
-2.42pm-
*sigh*...
I'm in no position of getting jealous isn't it? ^^"
But why am I feeling so down now?
Recently, lots of things happened.. I totally got screwed up in relationships, as always, every single time. I really hate it when I'm giving out my best, but always got turn down for all the effort I've given.
It like... I'm always around when the person I love got hurt. I'll accompany them, entertain them, heal them, then 'send' them away to other guys.. I've been abandoned then.
What's this 'true love' means actually? I've got no goddamn idea! I always thought that, if you are really deep in love with someone, you've gotta sacrifice for them. However, it doesn't seems like it's working..
Every time, when I'm trying to be nice, trying to do anything I could for the one I love, it always turn out to be wrong. At the end, they'll always ended up going ahead with another person, leaving me behind, like a clown who've go off stage, hiding in a corner crying like an idiot.
April Fool
Am I a fool since I came to this world a day after April Fool?
2 days ago, Yan said she wanted to take back the ring she gave me.. She should have taken it back when I wanted to give it back to her back then.
Now, I'm just kinda get use to wearing it everyday.. it's a very important ring to me, not only it brings back memories, but it's been with me when I'm sad, hurt, lost, afraid, facing insomnia... and she wanted to take it back just by sending me a message, telling me it's a memorable item to her regardless how I felt?!
NO!
This ring is more important to me than anything else! I don't wanna give it back to her, I really don't want to... even though I said i will, but I changed my mind. It's much more important than anything else.
I know I'm an ass, hate me if you want to, despise me as you like! I'm not letting anyone to take any important things from me anymore!
"When you're dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part."
If I've been healing the hearts of others by making myself looks like a fool, who is the one that will heal mine...?
-2.42pm-
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Imma Happy Clown?
It doesn't mean that I don't care when I don't mention about it...
It doesn't mean that I'm not serious when I crack jokes about it...
It doesn't mean that I really like to listen to you & his story even though I wanted you to tell me about it...
It doesn't mean that I'm happy though I could smile and laugh it off with a smiley in MSN...
It doesn't mean that I'm feeling nothing even though I'm comforting you or advising you...
*sigh*.......
I DO care, I AM serious, I WANTED to know, I'm NOT happy, I AM hurting myself more than ever!
It's all because.. I want you to be happy.
You just haven't realize.. how important you are to me.
Even though I'm writing things about you while you're writing things about him... Still, what can I say?
-end-
It doesn't mean that I'm not serious when I crack jokes about it...
It doesn't mean that I really like to listen to you & his story even though I wanted you to tell me about it...
It doesn't mean that I'm happy though I could smile and laugh it off with a smiley in MSN...
It doesn't mean that I'm feeling nothing even though I'm comforting you or advising you...
*sigh*.......
I DO care, I AM serious, I WANTED to know, I'm NOT happy, I AM hurting myself more than ever!
It's all because.. I want you to be happy.
Even though I'm writing things about you while you're writing things about him... Still, what can I say?
-end-
Monday, March 15, 2010
笑不出
14/3/2010
下午，去上声乐课…… 由于前一天没睡好，驾车真地很没精神。累得不像样，特别想听见那‘衰女包’的声音，可她却没空……就连在回家的路上，她还是没空。于是，为了让自己能好好驾车，只好拿起电话一直不停地拨！从 Steph -> Chloe -> Linne -> 老姐，可惜每个都不得空，聊了几句就挂断了。
接着，不知怎么地就打给了燕…… 她也在忙，没说几句话就挂了。真后悔自己为什么那么冲动，打了给她后，让我想起了很多，结果一整天的心情根本就没法好起来。
现在的我，跟当时的我有何分别？虽然，每次都告诉自己别想那么多，扮无知继续‘享受’眼前的温柔就好，可还是过不了自己那关啊！明知道最后会受伤的是自己，却还是如此不怕死地陷下去。
每次，都是自己舍不得、放不下。就算已知道了结果，知道她要的不是我，还是会为了怕她受伤而宁愿自己留下陪她，直到她不需要我为止……
这样的‘第二’，我还需要当多久、当多少次？
每次她说“别不开心”、“别难过”时，我就只好让自己别想那么多，想办法让自己开心地笑！可这一秒，我真地笑不出了…… 除了在 MSN 里，还能假装没事般地给她几个笑脸外，我真地没办法让自己开心起来了……
还没做的 Assignments 在眼前摊着…… 5月多的声乐考试也没还搞好…… 什么都不想做了……
下午，去上声乐课…… 由于前一天没睡好，驾车真地很没精神。累得不像样，特别想听见那‘衰女包’的声音，可她却没空……就连在回家的路上，她还是没空。于是，为了让自己能好好驾车，只好拿起电话一直不停地拨！从 Steph -> Chloe -> Linne -> 老姐，可惜每个都不得空，聊了几句就挂断了。
接着，不知怎么地就打给了燕…… 她也在忙，没说几句话就挂了。真后悔自己为什么那么冲动，打了给她后，让我想起了很多，结果一整天的心情根本就没法好起来。
现在的我，跟当时的我有何分别？虽然，每次都告诉自己别想那么多，扮无知继续‘享受’眼前的温柔就好，可还是过不了自己那关啊！明知道最后会受伤的是自己，却还是如此不怕死地陷下去。
每次，都是自己舍不得、放不下。就算已知道了结果，知道她要的不是我，还是会为了怕她受伤而宁愿自己留下陪她，直到她不需要我为止……
这样的‘第二’，我还需要当多久、当多少次？
每次她说“别不开心”、“别难过”时，我就只好让自己别想那么多，想办法让自己开心地笑！可这一秒，我真地笑不出了…… 除了在 MSN 里，还能假装没事般地给她几个笑脸外，我真地没办法让自己开心起来了……
还没做的 Assignments 在眼前摊着…… 5月多的声乐考试也没还搞好…… 什么都不想做了……
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
救生圈
我还是我……做了多少都没有用…… 每次的结果就是成为被遗弃的那个……
原本选择逃避的是我，最后却在挂断手机的那一刻，想起了她独自一人在哭泣…… 我们相识到昨晚的一切的一切，在一刹那就涌入脑海…… 结果，我还是舍不得让她一个人哭，马上就打电话回去了……
可笑的事，当我决定背负着一切，坚决地为她留下时，她却在今天选择了逃避、离开…… 甚至在我追问下，告诉我接受了另一个‘他’…… 这样，她就不需要再烦了吧？这样，她就有人能代替我去疼她了吧？
真的有够蠢啊~ 每次都自己送上门给别人当救生圈！用完了就丢咯~ 这么‘好’的人，哪里找？Pauline 老师真地说得对啊…… 我常常都会自愿成为别人‘过时间’的那个。
好人，就只会被人利用…… 而偏偏，我却改不了这习惯…… 其实，被别人‘称赞’为‘好人’，也只是被兜了个圈骂 ‘笨蛋’ 啊！所以，以方程式来计算的话，就是 《黄俊骐 = ‘好人’ = 笨蛋 + 十级》！ 酷吧？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈…………………………
不过，老天对我还蛮好的…… 每次在我不开心的时候，就偏偏会下雨……代替了我的哭泣。所以，我没哭。即使我是多么地想放声大哭……
“窗外下着的雨，犹如为我宣泄着无法流出的泪…… 心，还是受伤了…… 或许就如 Pauline 老师说的，再被捅多几次，就会习惯了……”
-12.00am-
原本选择逃避的是我，最后却在挂断手机的那一刻，想起了她独自一人在哭泣…… 我们相识到昨晚的一切的一切，在一刹那就涌入脑海…… 结果，我还是舍不得让她一个人哭，马上就打电话回去了……
可笑的事，当我决定背负着一切，坚决地为她留下时，她却在今天选择了逃避、离开…… 甚至在我追问下，告诉我接受了另一个‘他’…… 这样，她就不需要再烦了吧？这样，她就有人能代替我去疼她了吧？
真的有够蠢啊~ 每次都自己送上门给别人当救生圈！用完了就丢咯~ 这么‘好’的人，哪里找？Pauline 老师真地说得对啊…… 我常常都会自愿成为别人‘过时间’的那个。
好人，就只会被人利用…… 而偏偏，我却改不了这习惯…… 其实，被别人‘称赞’为‘好人’，也只是被兜了个圈骂 ‘笨蛋’ 啊！所以，以方程式来计算的话，就是 《黄俊骐 = ‘好人’ = 笨蛋 + 十级》！ 酷吧？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈…………………………
不过，老天对我还蛮好的…… 每次在我不开心的时候，就偏偏会下雨……代替了我的哭泣。所以，我没哭。即使我是多么地想放声大哭……
“窗外下着的雨，犹如为我宣泄着无法流出的泪…… 心，还是受伤了…… 或许就如 Pauline 老师说的，再被捅多几次，就会习惯了……”
-12.00am-
Sunday, February 28, 2010
EMO?!
这几个英文字母，对大家来说都不算陌生吧？
现在的我，应该就是处于所谓的 EMO 阶段吧？以前，对这词儿多少有点误解…… 伤心、难过、心痛…… 这些心情，都无法形容我现在的情绪-- EMO。听起来像在说废话吧？
古往今来，一些名武侠小说家如古龙，总会写下一些 “浪子背负着的那种深入骨髓的无可奈何”，“人性的悲哀” 之类的句子…… 现在，或许我了解了。也许，古人就已能诠释这 EMO 的感觉了。
我认为，每个人只要真正活过，就一定会经历这类似的 ‘深深的无可奈何’ ……
话说回来，为什么本大爷会忽然这么 EMO 呢？都怪 Yuki 这小妮子啦！好端端让我去听 Yiruma 演奏的曲子，《River Flows In You》、《Maybe》、《Kiss the Rain》…… 这些都还好，可在我一听见 《Do You》 这首曲子时，居然感觉到眼眶湿润了！
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9vKjxwVcnc&feature=related
好久、好久都没有试过这种感觉了。那是一种感动，一种无可比拟的感动。
我不知道在其他名音乐家，甚至 Yiruma 这位演奏者耳中，到底在这首歌里听见了什么。我听见了爱的美，却也听见了悲哀…… 一种对人性的悲哀，一种对爱的失望，一种深深的无奈…… 也许，我已曲折了这首歌原本的含义；也许，许多音乐家对我的观点嗤之以鼻…… 但这些并不重要，重要的是，它感动了我。
这几日来感情上的烦恼、无聊的心情，都在这一刻消失瓦解…… 这是一种‘意境’吗？我不知道……
心里，多了一些从来都没有、却又无法形容的东西。忽然很想念身边的人…… 特别是那 ‘衰女包’，哈哈……
-12.26am-
现在的我，应该就是处于所谓的 EMO 阶段吧？以前，对这词儿多少有点误解…… 伤心、难过、心痛…… 这些心情，都无法形容我现在的情绪-- EMO。听起来像在说废话吧？
古往今来，一些名武侠小说家如古龙，总会写下一些 “浪子背负着的那种深入骨髓的无可奈何”，“人性的悲哀” 之类的句子…… 现在，或许我了解了。也许，古人就已能诠释这 EMO 的感觉了。
我认为，每个人只要真正活过，就一定会经历这类似的 ‘深深的无可奈何’ ……
话说回来，为什么本大爷会忽然这么 EMO 呢？都怪 Yuki 这小妮子啦！好端端让我去听 Yiruma 演奏的曲子，《River Flows In You》、《Maybe》、《Kiss the Rain》…… 这些都还好，可在我一听见 《Do You》 这首曲子时，居然感觉到眼眶湿润了！
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9vKjxwVcnc&feature=related
好久、好久都没有试过这种感觉了。那是一种感动，一种无可比拟的感动。
我不知道在其他名音乐家，甚至 Yiruma 这位演奏者耳中，到底在这首歌里听见了什么。我听见了爱的美，却也听见了悲哀…… 一种对人性的悲哀，一种对爱的失望，一种深深的无奈…… 也许，我已曲折了这首歌原本的含义；也许，许多音乐家对我的观点嗤之以鼻…… 但这些并不重要，重要的是，它感动了我。
这几日来感情上的烦恼、无聊的心情，都在这一刻消失瓦解…… 这是一种‘意境’吗？我不知道……
心里，多了一些从来都没有、却又无法形容的东西。忽然很想念身边的人…… 特别是那 ‘衰女包’，哈哈……
-12.26am-
Friday, February 26, 2010
越陷越深
刚像傻子般地把我与她的聊天记录读完~ xD
说好这星期不致电给她，可还是忍不住啊~ 好想念她哦~ 再这样下去真地不行啦！ ><"
凌晨5点半，忘了她没上课，结果白等了一晚上，还吵醒了她…… 她回我的短信说8点有补习，可不知道是晚上还是早上，没说清楚。
现在，还在等时间过…… 好想再致电给她哦…… 补习通常都是晚上的吧？没哪位老师那么得空一大早就补习吧？算了，还是去睡觉吧……？
一整天没听见她的声音，很不习惯呢……
-7.12am-
说好这星期不致电给她，可还是忍不住啊~ 好想念她哦~ 再这样下去真地不行啦！ ><"
凌晨5点半，忘了她没上课，结果白等了一晚上，还吵醒了她…… 她回我的短信说8点有补习，可不知道是晚上还是早上，没说清楚。
现在，还在等时间过…… 好想再致电给她哦…… 补习通常都是晚上的吧？没哪位老师那么得空一大早就补习吧？算了，还是去睡觉吧……？
一整天没听见她的声音，很不习惯呢……
-7.12am-
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monash Orientation
For more info., please refer to Steph's blog post or Lenne's blog post, LOL
Sorry Lenne, sorry Steph, I'm just too freaking lazy to write 'about the same' post, so just link to both of your posts.. try not to sue me for copyrights, since I gave you guys face 9 9 by writing an english post after such a long time! xD
Well, it's been real-damn-tiring these few days!!! No doubt enjoyable as well.
I'll fill in some extra stuffs about myself that are not written in either Steph's or Lenne's posts(DUH!) here:
Monday(22/2/10)- yeap, 1st day of Monash Orientation. Slept around 3am(thanks to the 'sui lui bao' xD) and woke up at at 6.45am (thanks to Steph's call). Arrived Monash 30mins earlier 'cause of our blurness.
After all the crap talks(I slept like pig, I swear) from 9.15-11 something, they actually provided us some 'refreshments'-- J.Co Doughnuts, Ramli Burgers, Nasi Lemak Ayam, Noodles, orange juice. They're all F.o.C since we are paying such a huge amount of school fees to Monash.
We went to Sunway Pyramid for a movie soon after it ended."The Wolf Man" sucks! Lenne & Steph described it well, shocks you all the hell way even though it wasn't really THAT scary.
Next, we went to Lenne's house. By then only I realized JJ left his bag in my car and that my car boot was WIDE OPEN!!! Scares the hell outta us for a sec, fortunately nobody lose anything.
Finally, we got the red packet!!! Even though Lenne's parents wasn't around and it makes me feel guilty for a split sec(just a split sec).
After we sent Chloe home, we bump into traffic jam thanks to a burned car or something. I was rushing actually, and yea, I got stressed out yet I tried to keep my cool.
The weather was trying to test the limit of my patience I guess. It rains later when I was about to reach Steph's house. That made me a 'soaked boar' thanks to myself trying to be hero(shh...).
I was late for 15mins at least for my dinner with Yan's sis, Nathelie. It was really funny and enjoyable to have a dinner with her. :)
At night, chatted with the 'sui lui bao' again, slept around 2am.
Tuesday(23/2/10)- 2nd day of Orientation. Lazy to write, might/might not update later, LOL
Before I notice, I actually wrote quite a lot, pfft.
-12.18am-
Sorry Lenne, sorry Steph, I'm just too freaking lazy to write 'about the same' post, so just link to both of your posts.. try not to sue me for copyrights, since I gave you guys face 9 9 by writing an english post after such a long time! xD
Well, it's been real-damn-tiring these few days!!! No doubt enjoyable as well.
I'll fill in some extra stuffs about myself that are not written in either Steph's or Lenne's posts(DUH!) here:
Monday(22/2/10)- yeap, 1st day of Monash Orientation. Slept around 3am(thanks to the 'sui lui bao' xD) and woke up at at 6.45am (thanks to Steph's call). Arrived Monash 30mins earlier 'cause of our blurness.
After all the crap talks(I slept like pig, I swear) from 9.15-11 something, they actually provided us some 'refreshments'-- J.Co Doughnuts, Ramli Burgers, Nasi Lemak Ayam, Noodles, orange juice. They're all F.o.C since we are paying such a huge amount of school fees to Monash.
We went to Sunway Pyramid for a movie soon after it ended."The Wolf Man" sucks! Lenne & Steph described it well, shocks you all the hell way even though it wasn't really THAT scary.
Next, we went to Lenne's house. By then only I realized JJ left his bag in my car and that my car boot was WIDE OPEN!!! Scares the hell outta us for a sec, fortunately nobody lose anything.
Finally, we got the red packet!!! Even though Lenne's parents wasn't around and it makes me feel guilty for a split sec(just a split sec).
After we sent Chloe home, we bump into traffic jam thanks to a burned car or something. I was rushing actually, and yea, I got stressed out yet I tried to keep my cool.
The weather was trying to test the limit of my patience I guess. It rains later when I was about to reach Steph's house. That made me a 'soaked boar' thanks to myself trying to be hero(shh...).
I was late for 15mins at least for my dinner with Yan's sis, Nathelie. It was really funny and enjoyable to have a dinner with her. :)
At night, chatted with the 'sui lui bao' again, slept around 2am.
Tuesday(23/2/10)- 2nd day of Orientation. Lazy to write, might/might not update later, LOL
Before I notice, I actually wrote quite a lot, pfft.
-12.18am-
Saturday, February 20, 2010
新年？赌！
发啊！赢了 RM650 啊！ xD
前天（初五），与老雄那一班老友实行 ‘拜年马拉松’，一天连去了7间（包括我家）家拜年！由老雄 -> 老蔡 -> Tiam Jun -> 我 -> Kuan -> Lianne -> Michael 家。除了最主要的 ‘任务’ -- 拿红包外，几乎在每间家都赌！
一路赌下来，我都有输赢，没什么特别。直到最后一站 Michael 家时，夸张的序幕降临了……
我做了好一会儿的 ‘庄’（21点）后，赢了少许。接着，由老蔡及 Ernest 做庄，我总共赢了 RM70 多，就收手不玩了。岂知，休息一会儿后，大家居然提议玩最 ‘邪’ 的 In Between！就是这场赌博，让老蔡面临了他一生人中第 3 次的重大抉择……
由于大家都大约了解这赌法有多邪门儿，所以只有四人玩（包括我），而且全都是由 RM1 开始。天知道，在本大爷开始了一些较大的赌注后，大家的贪心都被激发了…… 结果， 输的丢钱、‘撞柱’的‘撞柱’， pool 里的钱就在短短的半小时左右，由 RM4 转变成 RM518！！！ @@"
这时候，输得几乎连自己都忘记的老蔡，一急起来居然想一次过赢光这堆巨款！！！
当时的气氛异常凝重，紧张、粗重、急促的呼吸声不时可闻…… 大家的劝慰声不时响起，连我也在内。若老蔡输了这一场，轻则就连挖也得挖出 RM518，重则（双倍）就得叫他老爸来付 RM1036了！！！
看着老蔡走来走去、一口气把一包菊花茶喝完、且一直抓头苦思的模样，大家的心都七上八下的。4人玩的 In Between，居然连旁观的十多人也开始跟着紧张起来！ 想起来真是…… 无法形容啊（当时没人想到拍照/录影留念，可惜可惜）！ ><"
最后，在大家的劝说下，老蔡终于下了决定 -- RM50。结果，手上一幅不错的牌还是让他输了！
接着，Ernest 也下了 RM50。他那一手不错的牌居然也让他 ‘撞柱’，结果又加进了 RM100…… 那可是 RM668 啊！ 这时，大家都没那个心情玩下去了。经过一番商议后，大家一致决定把钱分4份就算了。
4人当中，只有我一个人赢钱，其他的都因为赌注太大而无法翻本。就这样，除掉丢进去的钱，我口袋又进了 RM70 多…… 老实说，当时的我真地没觉得有多开心，感觉就很…… 说不出的复杂。
之后，在一家 mamak 请大家吃喝一会儿，就收工回家了……
原以为，我今年的‘搏杀’旅程就这么结束了…… 天知道，昨晚在 Kok Lim 家的另一场赌局，居然又让我吃进了 RM500！！！ xD
真不知道自己走的到底是什么‘狗粪运’？！由五块钱下注的我，居然在慢慢起注至 RM15 后，财神爷就开始往我口袋塞钱了！扑克牌都成为了我的好朋友，要什么来什么，一直打双倍三倍甚至四倍地赢！这么赌到接近凌晨3点，我已不知不觉地赢了 RM300 多了！
正当我打算‘见好就收’的时候，庄家说了一句“好，赢了就走是对的！”的反话。于是，我只好继续奉陪。一坐下后，牌运居然就开始变差了。原本打算尽快输 RM100 的我，在输了接近 RM70 时，把赌注升上 RM20以便能尽快走人。岂知，财神爷又回来眷顾我了！‘牌兄’们一个一个来，再次成双成叁成肆地上！手上的钱越聚越多，还一直在眼前掉，不捡对不起自己啊~~ xD
就这样，最后（凌晨4点半左右）居然赢了 RM500 出，旺得连自己都有点怕怕了！ ><"
今年，应该就是这么多了吧？不想再赌了！居然开始怕输起来了，哈哈哈…… 还没开始赌之前，答应了那傻婆得分一半的钱买礼物给她呢~ 没想到赢这么多，都不知道该买些什么给她好啦，哈哈！
老实说，刚赢钱时我根本没什么感觉…… 500 对我来说只不过是一组数字。在回家的路上我才想起，原来是因为没人与我分享这一份喜悦啊…… 无论赢得多少，又如何呢？
直到今天起床时，与 Yuki 通电以及和家人分享后，才开心了起来-- 我总共赢了 RM650 咧！！ 哈哈哈哈哈…… xD
新年快乐各位！祝大家虎年行大运，财源广广进！ xD
-6.13pm-
前天（初五），与老雄那一班老友实行 ‘拜年马拉松’，一天连去了7间（包括我家）家拜年！由老雄 -> 老蔡 -> Tiam Jun -> 我 -> Kuan -> Lianne -> Michael 家。除了最主要的 ‘任务’ -- 拿红包外，几乎在每间家都赌！
一路赌下来，我都有输赢，没什么特别。直到最后一站 Michael 家时，夸张的序幕降临了……
我做了好一会儿的 ‘庄’（21点）后，赢了少许。接着，由老蔡及 Ernest 做庄，我总共赢了 RM70 多，就收手不玩了。岂知，休息一会儿后，大家居然提议玩最 ‘邪’ 的 In Between！就是这场赌博，让老蔡面临了他一生人中第 3 次的重大抉择……
由于大家都大约了解这赌法有多邪门儿，所以只有四人玩（包括我），而且全都是由 RM1 开始。天知道，在本大爷开始了一些较大的赌注后，大家的贪心都被激发了…… 结果， 输的丢钱、‘撞柱’的‘撞柱’， pool 里的钱就在短短的半小时左右，由 RM4 转变成 RM518！！！ @@"
这时候，输得几乎连自己都忘记的老蔡，一急起来居然想一次过赢光这堆巨款！！！
当时的气氛异常凝重，紧张、粗重、急促的呼吸声不时可闻…… 大家的劝慰声不时响起，连我也在内。若老蔡输了这一场，轻则就连挖也得挖出 RM518，重则（双倍）就得叫他老爸来付 RM1036了！！！
看着老蔡走来走去、一口气把一包菊花茶喝完、且一直抓头苦思的模样，大家的心都七上八下的。4人玩的 In Between，居然连旁观的十多人也开始跟着紧张起来！ 想起来真是…… 无法形容啊（当时没人想到拍照/录影留念，可惜可惜）！ ><"
最后，在大家的劝说下，老蔡终于下了决定 -- RM50。结果，手上一幅不错的牌还是让他输了！
接着，Ernest 也下了 RM50。他那一手不错的牌居然也让他 ‘撞柱’，结果又加进了 RM100…… 那可是 RM668 啊！ 这时，大家都没那个心情玩下去了。经过一番商议后，大家一致决定把钱分4份就算了。
4人当中，只有我一个人赢钱，其他的都因为赌注太大而无法翻本。就这样，除掉丢进去的钱，我口袋又进了 RM70 多…… 老实说，当时的我真地没觉得有多开心，感觉就很…… 说不出的复杂。
之后，在一家 mamak 请大家吃喝一会儿，就收工回家了……
原以为，我今年的‘搏杀’旅程就这么结束了…… 天知道，昨晚在 Kok Lim 家的另一场赌局，居然又让我吃进了 RM500！！！ xD
真不知道自己走的到底是什么‘狗粪运’？！由五块钱下注的我，居然在慢慢起注至 RM15 后，财神爷就开始往我口袋塞钱了！扑克牌都成为了我的好朋友，要什么来什么，一直打双倍三倍甚至四倍地赢！这么赌到接近凌晨3点，我已不知不觉地赢了 RM300 多了！
正当我打算‘见好就收’的时候，庄家说了一句“好，赢了就走是对的！”的反话。于是，我只好继续奉陪。一坐下后，牌运居然就开始变差了。原本打算尽快输 RM100 的我，在输了接近 RM70 时，把赌注升上 RM20以便能尽快走人。岂知，财神爷又回来眷顾我了！‘牌兄’们一个一个来，再次成双成叁成肆地上！手上的钱越聚越多，还一直在眼前掉，不捡对不起自己啊~~ xD
就这样，最后（凌晨4点半左右）居然赢了 RM500 出，旺得连自己都有点怕怕了！ ><"
今年，应该就是这么多了吧？不想再赌了！居然开始怕输起来了，哈哈哈…… 还没开始赌之前，答应了那傻婆得分一半的钱买礼物给她呢~ 没想到赢这么多，都不知道该买些什么给她好啦，哈哈！
老实说，刚赢钱时我根本没什么感觉…… 500 对我来说只不过是一组数字。在回家的路上我才想起，原来是因为没人与我分享这一份喜悦啊…… 无论赢得多少，又如何呢？
直到今天起床时，与 Yuki 通电以及和家人分享后，才开心了起来-- 我总共赢了 RM650 咧！！ 哈哈哈哈哈…… xD
新年快乐各位！祝大家虎年行大运，财源广广进！ xD
-6.13pm-
Thursday, February 18, 2010
累了
累！！！！！ 真他 x 的累！！！！！！ =______________="
下午去了琪欣家‘搏杀’，输了40多…… 6点多回家，吃了晚餐后又再去她家继续（只赢回了一些 ><"）！靠……自己都觉得变成赌鬼了！><"
一直赌到凌晨4点多回家，意想不到的事情发生了-- 那傻丫头 Yuki 居然还没睡觉！由于某些关系她没法子睡着，结果我就只好舍命陪君……不，公主才对，一直聊到7点多咯~ ^^"
原本在考虑着是否该睡觉的我，也就省了这点麻烦。反正早上9点就得到老雄家了，都没差啦！可是……真地很累（一整天累积下来的）！！！ T_______________T
偏偏又不能睡啊~~ 我敢写保单，一睡下去早上就甭想叫醒我了。 =_="
唉……
没想到第一次和 Yuki 通电，居然就听见了她的哭声，而自己还得如保姆般地安慰她…… 真服了我们这两位了。结果，我还是那么‘专业’地安慰人（或许该考虑专攻心理学了），最后还得给她那些无厘头的话搞得哭笑不得，真是的！ xD
想想，我天生就好像只有让别人 ‘过时间’ 或充当 ‘救生圈’ 的命，真可悲啊~~ 哈哈哈哈哈！！！
结果，又是一位为情所困的女孩……见都见得多了，又哭又笑又闹，真搞不懂女生们的头脑里装了些什么？！
其实，我自己又何尝不是困在一个 ‘情’ 字？ 每当开解着他人的时候，我总是能分析得一清二楚，让对方了解困惑者自己的情结，可当遇到自己的问题时，却又无法自救…… 这就是所谓的‘旁观者清’吧？
其实，再多的伤心难过，也只是因为寂寞想要个人陪而已。
每当夜深人静、一个人独处时，总是会想起最深刻的那一段情、最难忘的那一位…… 随之而来的伤心、痛苦、难过、无奈…… 则会数倍甚至数十倍地降临，想避也避不了、逃也逃不掉。
唉………………还是只能以沉重的叹息，来稍微宣泄那深入骨髓的无奈……
累了…… 人，累了…… 心，也累了 ……
-8.13am-
下午去了琪欣家‘搏杀’，输了40多…… 6点多回家，吃了晚餐后又再去她家继续（只赢回了一些 ><"）！靠……自己都觉得变成赌鬼了！><"
一直赌到凌晨4点多回家，意想不到的事情发生了-- 那傻丫头 Yuki 居然还没睡觉！由于某些关系她没法子睡着，结果我就只好舍命陪君……不，公主才对，一直聊到7点多咯~ ^^"
原本在考虑着是否该睡觉的我，也就省了这点麻烦。反正早上9点就得到老雄家了，都没差啦！可是……真地很累（一整天累积下来的）！！！ T_______________T
偏偏又不能睡啊~~ 我敢写保单，一睡下去早上就甭想叫醒我了。 =_="
唉……
没想到第一次和 Yuki 通电，居然就听见了她的哭声，而自己还得如保姆般地安慰她…… 真服了我们这两位了。结果，我还是那么‘专业’地安慰人（或许该考虑专攻心理学了），最后还得给她那些无厘头的话搞得哭笑不得，真是的！ xD
想想，我天生就好像只有让别人 ‘过时间’ 或充当 ‘救生圈’ 的命，真可悲啊~~ 哈哈哈哈哈！！！
结果，又是一位为情所困的女孩……见都见得多了，又哭又笑又闹，真搞不懂女生们的头脑里装了些什么？！
其实，我自己又何尝不是困在一个 ‘情’ 字？ 每当开解着他人的时候，我总是能分析得一清二楚，让对方了解困惑者自己的情结，可当遇到自己的问题时，却又无法自救…… 这就是所谓的‘旁观者清’吧？
其实，再多的伤心难过，也只是因为寂寞想要个人陪而已。
每当夜深人静、一个人独处时，总是会想起最深刻的那一段情、最难忘的那一位…… 随之而来的伤心、痛苦、难过、无奈…… 则会数倍甚至数十倍地降临，想避也避不了、逃也逃不掉。
唉………………还是只能以沉重的叹息，来稍微宣泄那深入骨髓的无奈……累了…… 人，累了…… 心，也累了 ……
-8.13am-
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
新年.情人节
终于回家啦！呼~~ 这几天还真够累的！在柔佛的家乡度过了除夕至初三（今天），什么情绪都有，真是所谓的‘五味杂全’啊……
原以为回到家乡就什么都不必想、不必烦，天知道还是…… 唉……
除夕夜，看着一大班亲戚聊天吃饭，真地觉得挺开心的。婆婆烧的菜还是那么地美味；孩子们的嬉笑或哭闹声似乎永远不停歇；叔叔姑姑们还是那么地多话；堂弟们都长高了，高过我了（真丢脸）；堂姐堂妹们虽然还是那么地叽喳，但每个都长大了，出落得亭亭玉立了…… 还有，大家都还是那么爱赌！哈哈哈……
接连几天‘搏杀’中，我都有些小赢，算不错咯~以往的每年可都是去‘送钱’啊！哈哈哈~~
初一晚上，第一次和堂姐弟妹们外出，这才发现许多人都有驾照啦！大家都长大了呢（虽然在我眼中还是小瓜，没分别，哈哈哈）~ 我们去了位于新山的 City Square 里的 Neway 唱歌…… 可在那之前，她送我的戒指项链，居然被我弄丢了！当时的我，真地紧张得不像话，整个人发疯似地东奔西找，还几乎跟妈吵了起来…… 最后，还好老爸发现了‘它’，我才能平复心情出去…… 老爸对这件事没多问什么，真地非常感激他的理解。
唱歌的时候，自然地想起了她。许多首歌都不断地让回忆涌入脑海…… 接着，由于今天除了是年初一以外，也是情人节。所以，大家都开始谈起各自的感情关系，还不时地看着各自伴侣的照片议论纷纷…… 看着幸福的他们，虽然心里有些为自己难过，但还是挺替他们开心的。
后来，在离开 City Square 前，一位堂妹问我：“你对她也并不是很认真的吧？”。我笑笑，不置可否。除了这样，我还能如何回答她呢?
这几天，叔叔姑姑们总会问起我的感情生活，及颈上的那条项链。有些，我就照实答 ‘前几个月才分开’；有些，我就当没听见，尽量转移话题…… 真可笑，哈哈哈……
唉………… 看来我真地无可救药了…… 希望时间能冲淡一切吧！
-7.19pm-
原以为回到家乡就什么都不必想、不必烦，天知道还是…… 唉……
除夕夜，看着一大班亲戚聊天吃饭，真地觉得挺开心的。婆婆烧的菜还是那么地美味；孩子们的嬉笑或哭闹声似乎永远不停歇；叔叔姑姑们还是那么地多话；堂弟们都长高了，高过我了（真丢脸）；堂姐堂妹们虽然还是那么地叽喳，但每个都长大了，出落得亭亭玉立了…… 还有，大家都还是那么爱赌！哈哈哈……
接连几天‘搏杀’中，我都有些小赢，算不错咯~以往的每年可都是去‘送钱’啊！哈哈哈~~
初一晚上，第一次和堂姐弟妹们外出，这才发现许多人都有驾照啦！大家都长大了呢（虽然在我眼中还是小瓜，没分别，哈哈哈）~ 我们去了位于新山的 City Square 里的 Neway 唱歌…… 可在那之前，她送我的戒指项链，居然被我弄丢了！当时的我，真地紧张得不像话，整个人发疯似地东奔西找，还几乎跟妈吵了起来…… 最后，还好老爸发现了‘它’，我才能平复心情出去…… 老爸对这件事没多问什么，真地非常感激他的理解。
唱歌的时候，自然地想起了她。许多首歌都不断地让回忆涌入脑海…… 接着，由于今天除了是年初一以外，也是情人节。所以，大家都开始谈起各自的感情关系，还不时地看着各自伴侣的照片议论纷纷…… 看着幸福的他们，虽然心里有些为自己难过，但还是挺替他们开心的。
后来，在离开 City Square 前，一位堂妹问我：“你对她也并不是很认真的吧？”。我笑笑，不置可否。除了这样，我还能如何回答她呢?
唉………… 看来我真地无可救药了…… 希望时间能冲淡一切吧！
-7.19pm-
Friday, February 5, 2010
身病.心病
星期二，被‘久违’的发烧缠上了，整个人病得……惨不忍睹，真地能这么形容自己。 =_______="
昨天（过了12点嘛）起床时，喉咙还是火烧似地疼…… 但是，真地不想呆在家里。由于前天晚上和那一班朋友们通过 MSN 群聊，大家都挺关心我的（真地粉感动耶！），结果昨天起床，觉得病情好转了，就不顾一切地约他们出来逛啦！
Lenne 没空，就和 Steph 及 Chloe 去了1-U 逛。怪自己多口，说什么想学学怎么逛街，结果陪着两位大小姐逛到晕！差点还以为自己病情加剧了呢~ ^^"
去 PJ 的路上已经走错了一次（经过Sprint Highway 我的老天），回家时还碰上超恐怖的大塞车！@@"
唉……还好我载着 Steph，有她陪着我聊天，否则我早就睡着了。 =_="
平时都没什么多话的她，忽然就问了我一个问题：你跟你前女友是怎么分手的？当时，我还真地愣了一下…… 然后，我就开始慢慢地述说我和她的事…… 说着说着，收音机里 Celine Dion 这娘们儿居然无端端出现，还给我来首《My Heart Will Go On》！要不是我死要面子死撑死顶，我可能就当场来首《My "Tears" Will Go On》 了。 =_="
最后，还是忍不住把收音机关掉，才说得下去……
说完了，送 Steph 回家了， 到家了…… 把自己关在房间里，解下那条项链，紧握着‘它’冷静了一会儿…… 原来，自己心里毕竟还是有她啊！怎么赶都敢不走…… 他妈的！写到这里又…… 靠！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 …………………………………………
呼~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~（停顿了好几分钟后）嘿……我写作的弊病又来了……
每次出门前，都会自然而然地摸摸自己颈边，就怕自己忘了戴着‘它’……甚至和朋友们打球时，还是会把‘它’放在钱包里面，带在身旁…… 还记得那次在琪欣家，知道了她也会来看宝宝（雨雯）后，就立刻像害怕被发现什么似地把‘它’藏在钱包里，真可笑……
真不明白，自己到底在想些什么？浪费时间、精神把自己…… 暂时都想不出什么形容词来形容了！
前晚临睡前，看见她在 Facebook 里，写了些 ‘很想要一个能了解她的人听她说话’ 之类的东西，几乎马上就拿起手机致电给她了……我知道自己并不完全了解她，但我却想在她需要听众时，在她身边倾听她的一切，为她做些什么…… 几经犹豫，最后还是只传了封简讯给她，问她 ‘怎么了？’。过后就一直笑骂自己有多愚蠢多无聊！
结果，一直都没回应。之后在凌晨3点左右，手机却忽然响起了，怀着那一丁点儿希望打开一看--全身脱力~~ 原来 Digi 一整晚都有问题，那封信息根本就没传出去！！！真不知该失望还是该松口气才好啊？！
唉…… 真的不该想太多了…… 病都还没好，喉咙还在痛。现实生活就是这样……
下次发烧时，可否有人会特地去买盒退热贴给我……？
-2.46am-
昨天（过了12点嘛）起床时，喉咙还是火烧似地疼…… 但是，真地不想呆在家里。由于前天晚上和那一班朋友们通过 MSN 群聊，大家都挺关心我的（真地粉感动耶！），结果昨天起床，觉得病情好转了，就不顾一切地约他们出来逛啦！
Lenne 没空，就和 Steph 及 Chloe 去了1-U 逛。怪自己多口，说什么想学学怎么逛街，结果陪着两位大小姐逛到晕！差点还以为自己病情加剧了呢~ ^^"
去 PJ 的路上已经走错了一次（经过Sprint Highway 我的老天），回家时还碰上超恐怖的大塞车！@@"
唉……还好我载着 Steph，有她陪着我聊天，否则我早就睡着了。 =_="
平时都没什么多话的她，忽然就问了我一个问题：你跟你前女友是怎么分手的？当时，我还真地愣了一下…… 然后，我就开始慢慢地述说我和她的事…… 说着说着，收音机里 Celine Dion 这娘们儿居然无端端出现，还给我来首《My Heart Will Go On》！要不是我死要面子死撑死顶，我可能就当场来首《My "Tears" Will Go On》 了。 =_="
就是这娘们儿！唉……无可否认的好声音…
最后，还是忍不住把收音机关掉，才说得下去……
说完了，送 Steph 回家了， 到家了…… 把自己关在房间里，解下那条项链，紧握着‘它’冷静了一会儿…… 原来，自己心里毕竟还是有她啊！怎么赶都敢不走…… 他妈的！写到这里又…… 靠！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 …………………………………………
呼~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~（停顿了好几分钟后）嘿……我写作的弊病又来了……
每次出门前，都会自然而然地摸摸自己颈边，就怕自己忘了戴着‘它’……甚至和朋友们打球时，还是会把‘它’放在钱包里面，带在身旁…… 还记得那次在琪欣家，知道了她也会来看宝宝（雨雯）后，就立刻像害怕被发现什么似地把‘它’藏在钱包里，真可笑……
真不明白，自己到底在想些什么？浪费时间、精神把自己…… 暂时都想不出什么形容词来形容了！
前晚临睡前，看见她在 Facebook 里，写了些 ‘很想要一个能了解她的人听她说话’ 之类的东西，几乎马上就拿起手机致电给她了……我知道自己并不完全了解她，但我却想在她需要听众时，在她身边倾听她的一切，为她做些什么…… 几经犹豫，最后还是只传了封简讯给她，问她 ‘怎么了？’。过后就一直笑骂自己有多愚蠢多无聊！
结果，一直都没回应。之后在凌晨3点左右，手机却忽然响起了，怀着那一丁点儿希望打开一看--全身脱力~~ 原来 Digi 一整晚都有问题，那封信息根本就没传出去！！！真不知该失望还是该松口气才好啊？！
唉…… 真的不该想太多了…… 病都还没好，喉咙还在痛。现实生活就是这样……
下次发烧时，可否有人会特地去买盒退热贴给我……？
-2.46am-
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
世事无常
今天……哦，过了12点了，昨天……到现在为止，心情实在有够低落的。
尤其是在拿到她还给我的手机后……打开了，什么都没有…… 空白的联系本，空白的信箱，空白的…… 没有我们的任何回忆。嘿，我在期待着什么啊？！这样不是更好吗？一干二净，什么都没有…… 我该感谢她，不是么？ ^^"
我也不知道自己到底在伤什么屁心！！！
下午，写了一篇关于 Port Dickson 之旅的部落格。看回自己写的东西……如果是写在纸上的，我毫不怀疑自己会冲动地把它撕成碎片！没想到自己居然还能装开心，而且装得那么像！
最近，真地不怎么好过……前几天，和朋友们开开心心地唱完 K、载着一位朋友回家的路上时，接到了一通来电…… 是 Jas 打来的。她，告诉了一个让我几乎撞车的消息-- 老姐（契姐）的父亲，离开人世了。
获知这消息的我，几乎吓呆了 ！载了朋友回家后，我不管那几乎碰底的车油表，直接飞车去孝恩馆…… 当我看见老姐时，她并没我想象中的泪流满面…… 也许，该哭的早就哭完了吧？
我机械似地上前上香，然后在老姐问我：“你要见见我爸爸吗？”时，我不知道该怎么回答……只能僵硬地点点头。姐带了我去后堂，看着安详地躺在木棺里的 Uncle，听着姐说：“爸，我朋友来看你了。”，心里真地非常复杂-- 我不懂得该以怎样的心情去面对老姐。我忽然就很没脑似地问：“你妈在哪里？”，连自己也不知道怎么会冒出这一句话。老姐没答，只是看了我一眼就转身走了。也许是我说得太小声了吧？或者是她太伤心了呢？我不知道……
看着老姐和朋友们说话，脸上还挂着笑容……但她的内心，到底有多么的痛苦？我真的、真的不知道该说些什么，就连安慰的话一句也说不出口。
人生，真地很短促。我们并不知道，身边的人何时会离开自己。所以，一定要懂得珍惜眼前人，无论是家人、爱人、朋友……
除了身边的那一位，我们的父母以及真心的朋友们，不也是如此地爱着我们么？
头有点疼，今天该早点睡了……缺乏睡眠啊！
唉……………………………………
-12.49am-
尤其是在拿到她还给我的手机后……打开了，什么都没有…… 空白的联系本，空白的信箱，空白的…… 没有我们的任何回忆。嘿，我在期待着什么啊？！这样不是更好吗？一干二净，什么都没有…… 我该感谢她，不是么？ ^^"
我也不知道自己到底在伤什么屁心！！！
下午，写了一篇关于 Port Dickson 之旅的部落格。看回自己写的东西……如果是写在纸上的，我毫不怀疑自己会冲动地把它撕成碎片！没想到自己居然还能装开心，而且装得那么像！
最近，真地不怎么好过……前几天，和朋友们开开心心地唱完 K、载着一位朋友回家的路上时，接到了一通来电…… 是 Jas 打来的。她，告诉了一个让我几乎撞车的消息-- 老姐（契姐）的父亲，离开人世了。
获知这消息的我，几乎吓呆了 ！载了朋友回家后，我不管那几乎碰底的车油表，直接飞车去孝恩馆…… 当我看见老姐时，她并没我想象中的泪流满面…… 也许，该哭的早就哭完了吧？
我机械似地上前上香，然后在老姐问我：“你要见见我爸爸吗？”时，我不知道该怎么回答……只能僵硬地点点头。姐带了我去后堂，看着安详地躺在木棺里的 Uncle，听着姐说：“爸，我朋友来看你了。”，心里真地非常复杂-- 我不懂得该以怎样的心情去面对老姐。我忽然就很没脑似地问：“你妈在哪里？”，连自己也不知道怎么会冒出这一句话。老姐没答，只是看了我一眼就转身走了。也许是我说得太小声了吧？或者是她太伤心了呢？我不知道……
看着老姐和朋友们说话，脸上还挂着笑容……但她的内心，到底有多么的痛苦？我真的、真的不知道该说些什么，就连安慰的话一句也说不出口。
人生，真地很短促。我们并不知道，身边的人何时会离开自己。所以，一定要懂得珍惜眼前人，无论是家人、爱人、朋友……
除了身边的那一位，我们的父母以及真心的朋友们，不也是如此地爱着我们么？
头有点疼，今天该早点睡了……缺乏睡眠啊！
唉……………………………………
-12.49am-
Monday, February 1, 2010
Port Dickson 之旅
好多东西想写……不知道该从何写起？
上两个星期的Port Dickson 之旅……
她发现了我的部落格……
前两天的 PJ 一日游，及姐父亲去世的事……
今天和她妹妹的谈话……
好，就一个一个来！Port Dickson!
前几个星期，被老龟及一些朋友约了去 Port Dickson 玩。基本上只是去吃‘拉杂面’，游泳，烧烤（BBQ），看他们喝酒，自己喝红酒，照顾一大群喝醉的，劝慰一些伤心的……
那天，一大早（9点多）抵达了 Yinky 家。原本准备10点出发的，最后因为大家都那么地遵守‘马来西亚文化’，12点多才人齐、出发。没记错的话，Yinky 家人除外，是12个人吧？
近下午一点抵达，我们照原定计划去吃‘拉杂面’，第一盘的味道还不错，第二盘也许因为厨师太赶了，结果……真的很难吃……到最后是 Yinky 父母请吃的，老龟给钱的速度太慢了，哈哈 ……
到了后，大家就开始乱拍照片了…… 喏！
与其说是游泳，不如说是玩水更恰当，哈哈~
之后，大家又回房-- 拍照！
上两个星期的Port Dickson 之旅……
她发现了我的部落格……
前两天的 PJ 一日游，及姐父亲去世的事……
今天和她妹妹的谈话……
好，就一个一个来！Port Dickson!
前几个星期，被老龟及一些朋友约了去 Port Dickson 玩。基本上只是去吃‘拉杂面’，游泳，烧烤（BBQ），看他们喝酒，自己喝红酒，照顾一大群喝醉的，劝慰一些伤心的……
那天，一大早（9点多）抵达了 Yinky 家。原本准备10点出发的，最后因为大家都那么地遵守‘马来西亚文化’，12点多才人齐、出发。没记错的话，Yinky 家人除外，是12个人吧？
近下午一点抵达，我们照原定计划去吃‘拉杂面’，第一盘的味道还不错，第二盘也许因为厨师太赶了，结果……真的很难吃……到最后是 Yinky 父母请吃的，老龟给钱的速度太慢了，哈哈 ……
到了后，大家就开始乱拍照片了…… 喏！
本大爷还是那么地‘享受’拍照的乐趣（特别是下面那张），看得出吧？ xP
之后，大家就下去游泳咯~原本最后一分钟打算不下水的我，因为 CT 的一句话：“大家出来玩嘛……我不识得游水都下去啦！”，就决定和大家一起癫了。反正泳装都带了……
偶来啦！！！
不敢下水的‘馒头’，哈哈~
一大群疯子！哈哈！
与其说是游泳，不如说是玩水更恰当，哈哈~
之后，大家又回房-- 拍照！
夕阳无限好~
接着，在7点左右大家就搬了‘家伙’下去准备烧烤，可天不作美---- 居然下雨！！！ T_T
拍完大合照不久就下雨了（我当摄影师所以没在里面）！ T_T
结果大家只好傻傻地等雨停，在9点多才下去烧烤咯~ 饿坏了 ><"
准备工作~
看!看! 羊扒, 培根, 鸡翼, 香肠,牛肉香肠... 想吃吗? xD
Eric 烤的羊扒简直就是...... 人间美味啊~ 餐馆烤的都没那么好吃! 再配上一流的薄荷 Jelly 酱... 开玩笑!!!
老龟烤的鸡翼 (用tiger啤酒烤的) 则是金黄金黄的, 看着那滴下来的油哟~~ 猛吞口水啊!!!
许多照片都没放上来, 省得你们看了流口水, 哈哈哈...
吃完后, 大家就回房开始了‘饮酒大会’.. 当中发生了一些不太愉快的事情, 但最后还是圆满解决了! 喝到最后我们这几个‘站着的’ (我只是喝了半瓶红酒, 所以没什么影响) 还得照顾一大群‘倒下的’ (都是喝涩酒的), 呵呵~~ 整个旅程可说是非常成功哟! ^^v
回家的路上还去Pandan Indah 吃了‘鸡公褒’, 哈哈...
看看大家的馋样! xD
好啦,暂时就写这么多, 太多太多东西写了! @@"
还是一个个慢慢来的好... 大家别羡慕啊~ 空闲时找一班朋友去旅游吧! :DDD
-4.14pm-
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ill give you chicken tigh espressso.
2.1 Impact of external environment towards mental uncertainties.
my assignment boomed. my usb corrupted. my hard drive corrupted. my graphic card corrupted. my external hard drive full of languages only blardtards could understand. my modem auto shut down.
2.2 Redo Assignment
yesterday 4 am i redid my assignment. adrenaline rushed. like now even its only comment section under facebook. i'm typing like how i'm having sex with my MGW1010-Assignment2(draft 12e).doc
2.2.1 Adrenaline Rushes
well, i guess the adrenaline is still with me. i need some ramly burger. ramly burger is a type of burger, produced by ramly. ramly burger consists of burger bread, and a piece of shit that looks like meat. Besides, you can include vegetables, onions, cheese, lizards, or you can splat tomato sauce like how you eat kimbab. btw kimbab is good for health. eating kimbab is advantageous because it gives you energy. no energy, no gain.
2.2.2 The K-burger
as you can see, this is how we link kimbab and ramly burger together. However, i wanted to emphasize that the owner of ramly burger, Ramly, has been working on how to make kimbab a more delicious food in global. they had already researched about a new food called kimbabry burger. kimbabry burger is always delicious when eating because it is made of pork.
2.3 Movies I watch
The recent movie that i watched is spiderman. Spiderman is the best super hero for me. unlike superman. superman is a sissy. basically, superman becomes chickenman whenever he sees kryptonite. nobody cares about superman. all you do is spray him some krpytonite pee and he melts.
2.4 About Myself
Next, i would like to talk about myself. i am Harry Potter. well, people asked why the chicken cross the road? cz the chicken has wings. as for me, why did Dark Lord cross the road? Because Potter couldn't stop him. Anyway, i also love eating raw eggs. it's good for health. now it's almost 9. i am trying to..
2.4.1 What I'm Thinking in the middle of Assignment
Ahh.. i better stop my shits and quickly finish this report.
2.4.2 Continue from 2.4
I am trying to search for stuffs in youtube. however, i am very hungry.
2.5 Conclusion
To conclude. i am very hungry now. therefore, the 5 recommendations i suggest to myself is
2.6 Recommendations
- suit up
- utlize feedforward by preparing some money
- head for ramly burger with full speed to avoid wasting energy resources. in the meantime utilizing concurrent control to observe how far is my destination so i can correct actions by speeding up or slowing down.
- fully utilize selection process under HRM whereby you only select the prettiest and sexiest burger. order the burger. and pay for it
- enjoy the burger. utilize the whole control. prevent saliva from drooling when eating. as this will pull the reputation down when ppl sees me drooling like a blardtard.
- title, table of content, cover sheet are missing, there is no significant relationship between the elements written. basically, out of topic, or rather no topic at all.
-executive summary is not present, wasted more than 5mins in my life to read this purpose-less report.
- it was quite well written even though it is simply random, until the part about burgers, they're food, and I'm guessing that you wanted to write about your assignment re-do issue.
-Introduction of yourself is off topic; you ain't no Harry Potter, and dark lord is not s'pose to exist in any of the Potter's series.
- recommendations are very interestingly written. management elements are present and well utilized, but lack of supports.
- references are absent. lack of support from any sources, at the same time assumptions are not made to clarify it.
- The rest are total random craps.
Conclusion:
FARK YOU LENNE U TOOK ABOUT 20MINS OF MY LIFE JUST TO READ THIS SHIT AND COMMENT ON IT 'SOMEHOW UNCONSCIOUSLY'!