Can I just say that 'I give up' now?
I've had enough with my stupidity, my own lack of knowledge AND the motivation to persuade it.
What kind of idiot am I huh?!
Seriously... I'm not doing well in my study, especially in Finance and Business Law; I'm singing nuts recently for my competition coming in 2 weeks; I've been missing my LCCI classes for weeks; I'm always lazy to attend any event of my working cycle to socialize; I can't even think positively but keep complaining when I'm under PRESSURE/STRESS; I'm FARKING USELESS!!!
Can I just say that 'I give up' now?
Can I just give up in my singing? Can I just give up in my study? Can I just run away from my work? Can I stop my LCCI lesson? Can I just DIE?! FULL WITH REGRETS?!
Hell yeah, I'm contradicting myself! I know that I can't give up any of these... and I shouldn't. Why am I such a bastard that will not have the urge to persuade knowledge?? How come others can but I can't? If it's all up to me to decide, THEN WHY AM I ALWAYS MAKING THE NEGATIVE DECISIONS?!
I know that it's pointless to say all these, I know that it's impossible for me to just stop and rot then die, I know that life goes on, I know that there's nowhere to run, but still...
Can I just 'give up'?
-1.47am-
Monday, September 13, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Such 'Wonderful' Person in Life
Sometimes... some people just let me feel so.... fake.
I really hate the kinda person who hide things from me. What's wrong with telling me the truth? What passed is past, there is no need to hide, no need to hold back.
What's the deal with keep addressing me as 'brother' while trying to hide things from me and making me looks like a fool?!
It hurts... so much. Even though I'd once told myself to forget about what happened between the 3 of us, but what you're doing now is making it worse, to a certain extend where I feel like giving you a straight punch when you talk to me.
I knew that I should never take anybody as important anymore but... yea, I'm still dumb enough to take you as a brother, keep supporting you whenever you're down...I've never felt such intense anger and mood of crying for quite some times already, thanks for giving me that.
This heartache is far exceeded how it felt back then.
I guess I should just give up. I don't need/want such a friend, such a 'brother'. Thanks for all the helps you've given me thus far, truly appreciate that, including today's. But I really can't take it anymore.
You'll be the 1 person whom I can never forgive for my entire life time.
I'll still wish you a good life, for the last time.
and allow me to honestly curse you for once: FUCK YOU BASTARD!
sorry about that, but I mean it.
-12.23am-
I really hate the kinda person who hide things from me. What's wrong with telling me the truth? What passed is past, there is no need to hide, no need to hold back.
What's the deal with keep addressing me as 'brother' while trying to hide things from me and making me looks like a fool?!
It hurts... so much. Even though I'd once told myself to forget about what happened between the 3 of us, but what you're doing now is making it worse, to a certain extend where I feel like giving you a straight punch when you talk to me.
I knew that I should never take anybody as important anymore but... yea, I'm still dumb enough to take you as a brother, keep supporting you whenever you're down...I've never felt such intense anger and mood of crying for quite some times already, thanks for giving me that.
This heartache is far exceeded how it felt back then.
I guess I should just give up. I don't need/want such a friend, such a 'brother'. Thanks for all the helps you've given me thus far, truly appreciate that, including today's. But I really can't take it anymore.
You'll be the 1 person whom I can never forgive for my entire life time.
I'll still wish you a good life, for the last time.
and allow me to honestly curse you for once: FUCK YOU BASTARD!
sorry about that, but I mean it.
-12.23am-
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