Give Up?

Can I just say that 'I give up' now?

I've had enough with my stupidity, my own lack of knowledge AND the motivation to persuade it.

What kind of idiot am I huh?!

Seriously... I'm not doing well in my study, especially in Finance and Business Law; I'm singing nuts recently for my competition coming in 2 weeks; I've been missing my LCCI classes for weeks; I'm always lazy to attend any event of my working cycle to socialize; I can't even think positively but keep complaining when I'm under PRESSURE/STRESS; I'm FARKING USELESS!!!

Can I just say that 'I give up' now?

Can I just give up in my singing? Can I just give up in my study? Can I just run away from my work? Can I stop my LCCI lesson? Can I just DIE?! FULL WITH REGRETS?!

Hell yeah, I'm contradicting myself! I know that I can't give up any of these... and I shouldn't. Why am I such a bastard that will not have the urge to persuade knowledge?? How come others can but I can't? If it's all up to me to decide, THEN WHY AM I ALWAYS MAKING THE NEGATIVE DECISIONS?!

I know that it's pointless to say all these, I know that it's impossible for me to just stop and rot then die, I know that life goes on, I know that there's nowhere to run, but still...

Can I just 'give up'?

-1.47am-